Hope Floats

For so long I've built a wall around my heart
Can't really remember when but it was there
I only allowed people a glimse of who I was and what I had to offer
Fear is a crippling feeling especially when you under estimate it
I became so conditioned to pain that it felt natural and well placed
Whenever I felt happiness I felt that there was something wrong
I would immediately pull back and the wall was set in place
I questioned good intensions and allowed foul feelings
I ran from good guys and embraced the bad ones
I started feeling like I was one myselfI felt that I was a predator looking for my next victim
I crushed so many hearts in my pursuit to protect my own
Running so fast I forgot to look behind me
One day I finally tripped The fall was hard and painful
As I rose I looked back to see what I tripped on
The path behind me was filled with broken hearts, broken dreams, rivers of tears, shattered memories and hope wrapped in chains
I turned around and began walking back
As I came to those sights I began to fix them
When I got to hope I broke the chain
My heart began beating again
I began crying again
I gave my best to those that were hurt in my destructive rampage
I carried hope in a different direction
This direction brought about the hardest thing...acceptance
What I didn't expect was to have a guide
He stands there holding out his hand for me to grab
I backed up for a while and he began to disappear
I saw the wall rising once again
Before I knew it I grabbed a sledge hammer and began tearing the wall down
I turned to a bright light and an image
It was him again
This time he held out both hands
Afraid to loose hope I only gave one hand
Still not able to get a grasp I released hope and to my surprise hope began to float
I placed both hands in his and we became one