What Could Have Been

I could be typing another sorrow story
I could have received a different call
I could be lying in bed all alone
I could be crying my eyes out in total pain
I could be packing my things thinking about where would I go now
I could be making funeral arrangements
I could be calling family members with bad news
I could be looking at his picture and praying for it all to not be true

These things were very possible but it didn't happen
He is still with me
He is still holding me
He is still telling me he loves me
He is telling me how blessed he was to have survived
He is lying beside me and holding me tightly

My life could have been destroyed with an instant accident
My life could have changed instantly within moments

It terrifies me of what may have been my life at this point
But because I still have my soulmate in a strange twist of fate I seek solice in the opposite of what could have been

Where You Stand

When it is all said and done we find out who is important to us and who is just along for the ride
People all want to be right beside you when the times are going well and they are receiving your blessings without lifting a finger to contribute to them
When it comes to the hard times you see who your real people are and who needs to be taken out of the picture
Notice your conversations
When you talk to the people that are there through thick and thin they will listen as well as share their feelings and their lives with you
The ones that you need to drop like a bad habit will only dump their drama in your lap and expect you to pick up the pieces
The shameful thing that you find out in time is that those people can actually be part of your family
Growing up I always assumed that family would stick by you no matter what
I thought that family would always stand by your side and be real with you
I have learned over the years that some times family is the main source of the negativity in your life
It is a hurting feeling to experience that sort of reality but you become stronger once you accept those in your life as they are
When you stop painting a beautiful family portrait and allow the cracks and flaws to show you can live a more peaceful and decent life
So the bottom line of life is depended upon your stance
What you believe and what you feel is actuality
Be all that you can be and learn from the good as well as the bad
Take all that you have experienced, mix it all up and create the armor you will need when you face the true hardships of life
It can be over powered or it will knock you over, it depends on where you stand

If All Else Fails

The most common rule in life is do on to others as you would have them do on to you
Though some times that rule doesn't apply to certain walks of life
These moments of uncertain retaliation can drive you out of your mind
Dealing with people much older than you but having them act like children much younger than you can be so entertaining at times
You find yourself acting more mature in your decision making
You find yourself thinking about the benefits of just walking away from the situation
You wonder what in the hell is going on
Then you look at the track record and realize that what you are facing should not be such a surprise
All of your life you have been giving these people the benefit of the doubt
You found yourself just dealing with their many different personalities and uncontrollable mood swings
It all dawns on you why you have decided to take Psychology as a major
It isn't only because you are in wonder of the human mind and the human condition
It seems to boil down to the people you face every single day
It feels like the ones that show the most potential for a check and a ride on the short yellow bus are people you've known forever
You watch television shows and you see these crazy people and you see them diagnosed for their mental diseases
You then begin to wonder if the people you are in contact with should be labeled as mentally disturbed as well
No matter what approach you take you get the same outcome
No matter how you address them that craziness still appears
No matter how you conduct your speech pattern they still read negativity
So instead you just totally shut it off completely
You stay away from them
You count down the days until you are no longer sharing a space with them
You still pray that they have a safe life
You pray that one day they learn that they are flawed too severe for a sit down conversation
It then starts to pour into you that you are blood related
It starts to make you wonder if you will display that same mental breakdown when you reach their age
Thinking those thoughts start to make you sit back and dwell on that possibility
Then you snap out of it, turn on the television, and watch some more shows of crazy people being diagnosed for mental diseases
If all else fails, acting is a great fall back plan from reality