You say patience is a virtue, in which I posses. Though I never provide patience in unnecessariness!
You say you like me, care, and want to get to know me
I’m not well rounded; there are scenes and sights that you can show me
We’ve known each other for a length of a year
Yet the thought of commitment over throws you with fear
You say patience is a virtue, in which I posses. Though I never provide patience in unnecessariness!
Our communication leaves a lot to be desired
When I want to see you, you say you’re tired
My phone has rung more, than my door has been knocked
You would think we were 200 miles apart, though we’re barely a city block
You say patience is a virtue, in which I posses. Though I never provide patience in unnecessariness!
Now I’ve attempted to say good-bye before, but you talked your way back
Normally my attitude is firm, with you it seems slack
But now like the winter weather, my heart is becoming as cold as snow
I’ll give you one more week, but after that, you’ve got to go
Kru-Shal/1998
The World Beyond My Eyes
Destiny is what you make it
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Poochie
What’s up Poochie!?
Where are you going today?
You seem confused, have you lost you’re way?
This is a bit disturbing you always seem to have direction
Never knew you to fall or fear from our detection
We rely on you for our strength and will to go on
What are we to do if there’s something wrong?
Why don’t you respond? Why do you have a face of someone that is fed up?
Poochie don’t walk away leaving us here not knowing what’s up
Wonder what’s wrong with him today; I’ve never seen him act this way.
Oh well, tomorrow I will go see him, I need help in a situation
Hopefully tomorrow Poochie will have ended his frustration
kru-shal/06/22/99
Where are you going today?
You seem confused, have you lost you’re way?
This is a bit disturbing you always seem to have direction
Never knew you to fall or fear from our detection
We rely on you for our strength and will to go on
What are we to do if there’s something wrong?
Why don’t you respond? Why do you have a face of someone that is fed up?
Poochie don’t walk away leaving us here not knowing what’s up
Wonder what’s wrong with him today; I’ve never seen him act this way.
Oh well, tomorrow I will go see him, I need help in a situation
Hopefully tomorrow Poochie will have ended his frustration
kru-shal/06/22/99
Understand
So you think that this is wrong
This is not normal for someone to feel the way they do
Yet you have this enormous security of yourself
But everyone else should not remain true
I can’t feel that you are being true to yourself when you try to hurt the spirit of another
You must remember that no matter what, these people; our people are our sisters and brothers
But I bet that doesn’t mean much to you at all
If it ain’t right, it just ain’t right
Instead of lending a hand for their rise
You are pushing them down for the fall
Can you verify why it isn’t right?
You know, other than opening up that man made book stating that it’s wrong
You want to preach your feelings about this
But it sounds like pretty much the same song
07/16/99 – Kru-shal
This is not normal for someone to feel the way they do
Yet you have this enormous security of yourself
But everyone else should not remain true
I can’t feel that you are being true to yourself when you try to hurt the spirit of another
You must remember that no matter what, these people; our people are our sisters and brothers
But I bet that doesn’t mean much to you at all
If it ain’t right, it just ain’t right
Instead of lending a hand for their rise
You are pushing them down for the fall
Can you verify why it isn’t right?
You know, other than opening up that man made book stating that it’s wrong
You want to preach your feelings about this
But it sounds like pretty much the same song
07/16/99 – Kru-shal
Words Of Wisdom
Such a tragedy, someone’s heart has been broken
Hurt again for the second time
Words of cheering up can not be spoken
You’ve said to yourself time and time again
“This time you’d have both eyes open”
You and your mate would be more than lovers you
would be friends
Too late to look back now
Too late to mend your broken heart
Put your tears to rest awhile
Now it’s time to make a brand new start
These words I give you, should not be taking in vain
For it is best to live with a broken heart, than to die
with pain!
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Hurt again for the second time
Words of cheering up can not be spoken
You’ve said to yourself time and time again
“This time you’d have both eyes open”
You and your mate would be more than lovers you
would be friends
Too late to look back now
Too late to mend your broken heart
Put your tears to rest awhile
Now it’s time to make a brand new start
These words I give you, should not be taking in vain
For it is best to live with a broken heart, than to die
with pain!
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
In Love
I find myself not eating
I find myself not sleeping
I find myself crying all through the night
I try to sing, I try to write
No matter what I do, nothing seems to make it right
My whole life has changed; nothing seems to be the same
The thought of you makes me happy, when I should feel shame
You have me standing in sunshine, when it is pouring rain
Just the thought of you makes me sweat
I mention your name time after time, and it gets everyone upset
I can’t help the way I feel
I am as free as a dove
You all can see it in my face, for the first time ever,
“I’M IN LOVE!”
Kru-Shal/1998
I find myself not sleeping
I find myself crying all through the night
I try to sing, I try to write
No matter what I do, nothing seems to make it right
My whole life has changed; nothing seems to be the same
The thought of you makes me happy, when I should feel shame
You have me standing in sunshine, when it is pouring rain
Just the thought of you makes me sweat
I mention your name time after time, and it gets everyone upset
I can’t help the way I feel
I am as free as a dove
You all can see it in my face, for the first time ever,
“I’M IN LOVE!”
Kru-Shal/1998
Bitter Taste
Look at us, a happy and stable couple
Look at you, always there for me helping me when in trouble
Promises were made plans were in motion
When pain ailed me, you had the magic potion
I would tell all my friends on the way you make me feel
Every song that described you only increased your sex appeal
Caramel kisses would soothe my mind
Sweet taffy hugs would make my heart shine
Gum drop beads of sweat would fall from your body when we made love
I guess I had a sweet tooth from the descriptions above
Little did I know I wasn’t the only one that loved you from head to toe!
I would hear whispers in the phone when I entered the room
Found little love letters under the bed when I fondled the floor with the broom
Never spoke a word always put trust in front of doubt
Now it seems that I’ve come to a conclusion that we can’t work out
I use to love the caramel kisses, sweet taffy hugs, and gum drop sweats, now it seems that a bitter taste is all I get!!!!
Look at you, always there for me helping me when in trouble
Promises were made plans were in motion
When pain ailed me, you had the magic potion
I would tell all my friends on the way you make me feel
Every song that described you only increased your sex appeal
Caramel kisses would soothe my mind
Sweet taffy hugs would make my heart shine
Gum drop beads of sweat would fall from your body when we made love
I guess I had a sweet tooth from the descriptions above
Little did I know I wasn’t the only one that loved you from head to toe!
I would hear whispers in the phone when I entered the room
Found little love letters under the bed when I fondled the floor with the broom
Never spoke a word always put trust in front of doubt
Now it seems that I’ve come to a conclusion that we can’t work out
I use to love the caramel kisses, sweet taffy hugs, and gum drop sweats, now it seems that a bitter taste is all I get!!!!
The Mother
She reads us bedtime stories which builds our imagination
She holds us in her arms to protect us from the devastation
Even if we don’t know her she gives us wisdom and guidance
It’s because of her presence we learn respect, hard work, and diligence
She is what we all need to live out a wholesome life
She isn’t just a mother; she is a daughter, and a wife
It’s this angelic soul that secures our legacy
It’s her influence, tolerance, and empathy
When GOD created her he meant to give her all of these qualities and more
For he knew in what the world had in store
So learn to respect her better as she has taught us to respect each other
She may be a stranger to you, but to someone else she is the Mother
©Gregory James Upson 04/16/2010
She holds us in her arms to protect us from the devastation
Even if we don’t know her she gives us wisdom and guidance
It’s because of her presence we learn respect, hard work, and diligence
She is what we all need to live out a wholesome life
She isn’t just a mother; she is a daughter, and a wife
It’s this angelic soul that secures our legacy
It’s her influence, tolerance, and empathy
When GOD created her he meant to give her all of these qualities and more
For he knew in what the world had in store
So learn to respect her better as she has taught us to respect each other
She may be a stranger to you, but to someone else she is the Mother
©Gregory James Upson 04/16/2010
This Nameless Lady
I see her everyday walking across the street
She seems to have music in her ears because she smiles and walks in rhythm
When she passes strangers she speaks and welcomes them as if she’s known them her entire life
I don’t know her story, whether she is someone’s mother, sister, friend, or wife
All I know is that when she passes me by my heart skips a beat
It’s not due to attraction it’s just this energy that she keeps
She carries the sun with her as she does her glow
I can’t help but admire this work of art
She generates a respect that is instant and not demanded
She is beauty and grace; no one can deny that she is there
If you see her you feel the joy of a mother’s baby
So much power in her presence….
This nameless lady
©Gregory James Upson 04/16/2010
She seems to have music in her ears because she smiles and walks in rhythm
When she passes strangers she speaks and welcomes them as if she’s known them her entire life
I don’t know her story, whether she is someone’s mother, sister, friend, or wife
All I know is that when she passes me by my heart skips a beat
It’s not due to attraction it’s just this energy that she keeps
She carries the sun with her as she does her glow
I can’t help but admire this work of art
She generates a respect that is instant and not demanded
She is beauty and grace; no one can deny that she is there
If you see her you feel the joy of a mother’s baby
So much power in her presence….
This nameless lady
©Gregory James Upson 04/16/2010
A Woman's Honor
It’s almost impossible to put into words the power of a woman
How can you label such a gift from GOD?
They say that they were created from the rib of a man
Yet they are the power of a man’s heart
They are the strength that keeps the world together
They are the glue that ties bloodlines forever
They are the Queens of the throne
They are the comfort of a child’s home
They protect us when the world is cold
They are courageous, strong, and bold
To truly honor a woman, words can’t do the task
If you want to honor a woman, you walk up to one and just ask
©Gregory James Upson 04/16/2010
How can you label such a gift from GOD?
They say that they were created from the rib of a man
Yet they are the power of a man’s heart
They are the strength that keeps the world together
They are the glue that ties bloodlines forever
They are the Queens of the throne
They are the comfort of a child’s home
They protect us when the world is cold
They are courageous, strong, and bold
To truly honor a woman, words can’t do the task
If you want to honor a woman, you walk up to one and just ask
©Gregory James Upson 04/16/2010
My One Desire
I always notice you
You seem to be like a lingering thought
I love to know that I’ll see you again
You should know by now that you have my heart
I write, I sing and I dance
These are all precious things to me
You always fit into place like a hand in glove
I can’t believe that I have you, some times I can’t figure this fantasy
Your touch, your look, the smell that you give as your body meshes with the heat
Your eyes, your nose, your hands and your small and pudgy feet
I dream of you, I see you as I stare off into space
I hear your voice and no matter where I go I envision your face
I can’t get enough of you, I want more even after our souls have touched
This is like a drug, I never thought I’d love someone so much
You’re my day, my night, you set my heart on fire
You’re my dream, my reality, My One Desire
08/10/99 Kru-Shal
You seem to be like a lingering thought
I love to know that I’ll see you again
You should know by now that you have my heart
I write, I sing and I dance
These are all precious things to me
You always fit into place like a hand in glove
I can’t believe that I have you, some times I can’t figure this fantasy
Your touch, your look, the smell that you give as your body meshes with the heat
Your eyes, your nose, your hands and your small and pudgy feet
I dream of you, I see you as I stare off into space
I hear your voice and no matter where I go I envision your face
I can’t get enough of you, I want more even after our souls have touched
This is like a drug, I never thought I’d love someone so much
You’re my day, my night, you set my heart on fire
You’re my dream, my reality, My One Desire
08/10/99 Kru-Shal
Being Real
Firm beliefs of reality, all seem very glimm to me
Whatever happened to trust, care, responsibility
Why can’t we have trust and honesty
When I speak my mind, I am labeled rude
In reality, I absorb all of my surroundings, as I would soul food
My facial expressions tell all, my emotions run deep
When I feel nothing need be said, I am quiet, not one little peep
In a crowd, I would stand out like a soar thumb
When others are “Entertained” by singers that scream, I am relaxed by
the mellowness of a hum.
My spirit runs free, like a falling leaf in the wind
Only me, myself, and I could be best friends
Not being conceded or stuck on myself, just laying down the facts
In life people can act real funky, and I ain’t got time for that
Kru-Shal/1998
Whatever happened to trust, care, responsibility
Why can’t we have trust and honesty
When I speak my mind, I am labeled rude
In reality, I absorb all of my surroundings, as I would soul food
My facial expressions tell all, my emotions run deep
When I feel nothing need be said, I am quiet, not one little peep
In a crowd, I would stand out like a soar thumb
When others are “Entertained” by singers that scream, I am relaxed by
the mellowness of a hum.
My spirit runs free, like a falling leaf in the wind
Only me, myself, and I could be best friends
Not being conceded or stuck on myself, just laying down the facts
In life people can act real funky, and I ain’t got time for that
Kru-Shal/1998
The Good Times
DAMN!!!
Where was I last night?
You know I can’t even remember!
Whose body was I caressing?
Skin so smooth and tender!
How did I get home, was I behind the wheel?
What in the hell was I drinking that makes me feel the way that I feel?
“That’s it!” I’m not going to a party anymore!
Why do I go anyway, what could I possibly be looking for?
I always end up hung over, drunk, and broke.
I vomit, clean myself and laugh it off like it’s a joke.
I gotta slow down, get myself together
I can’t keep up this life style forever.
Hold up! I’ve got to answer the phone.
It’s my homie, checking to see if I’m home.
It’s a party and he wants to know if I wanna go.
Hell Yeah! I know I said that I was gonna change but that can wait till tomorrow
Kru-Shal/9/12/98
Where was I last night?
You know I can’t even remember!
Whose body was I caressing?
Skin so smooth and tender!
How did I get home, was I behind the wheel?
What in the hell was I drinking that makes me feel the way that I feel?
“That’s it!” I’m not going to a party anymore!
Why do I go anyway, what could I possibly be looking for?
I always end up hung over, drunk, and broke.
I vomit, clean myself and laugh it off like it’s a joke.
I gotta slow down, get myself together
I can’t keep up this life style forever.
Hold up! I’ve got to answer the phone.
It’s my homie, checking to see if I’m home.
It’s a party and he wants to know if I wanna go.
Hell Yeah! I know I said that I was gonna change but that can wait till tomorrow
Kru-Shal/9/12/98
Love Forever
Someone once told me that they loved me more than life it's self
They promised to be with me and love me and no one else
I opened my heart and gave them my soul
Of which with my emotions they had total control
I closed my eyes stretched my arms and fell right into their hands
I fell to the ground and now I'm feeling down and still can't understand
I never thought that I would feel so empty in the way I do today
For someone to love me so strongly and then to walk away
Their words were untrue though how they flew so swiftly from their lips
So no more home or celebrating holiday’s especially romantic trips
So from now on he'll be my experience and one I won't forget
I would call him my ex love but to me he's a piece of shit!
Love Forever
03/07/08 – Gregory James
They promised to be with me and love me and no one else
I opened my heart and gave them my soul
Of which with my emotions they had total control
I closed my eyes stretched my arms and fell right into their hands
I fell to the ground and now I'm feeling down and still can't understand
I never thought that I would feel so empty in the way I do today
For someone to love me so strongly and then to walk away
Their words were untrue though how they flew so swiftly from their lips
So no more home or celebrating holiday’s especially romantic trips
So from now on he'll be my experience and one I won't forget
I would call him my ex love but to me he's a piece of shit!
Love Forever
03/07/08 – Gregory James
The Night I Met You
The night I met you, I was in despair
The night I met you, I didn’t even care
I was heart broken, lost and confused
My ex-lover had left me, battered and bruised
Then I saw you, on the dance floor, your body grooving to a tune
When I laid eyes on you, I saw no one else but you in the room
Your brown skin, your sexy smile
The way you danced truly drove me wild
The night I met you, I had a heart of stone
The night I met you, I was content on being alone
I had cried my last tears, felt my last fears
My ex-lover left me to feel lonely for years
Then I talked to you, your voice so smooth and kind
My heart raced, beating faster than time
Your smooth soft lips and the warmth of your breath
I almost fell to my knees I had to catch myself
No more pain, no despair
I’m in love with you and I just don’t care
I’m finally happy again, never thought it could happen
It is now your heart that I am trapped in
You say you love me and I feel the same
I give you all of me and feel no shame
My GOD I never thought this could be
Now my heart is ready for the bond of you and me
There’s no explanation on the way we feel
What I do know is that these feelings are real
All I want is for us to always stay together
I pray it will be me and you forever
Kru-Shal/08/19/98
The night I met you, I didn’t even care
I was heart broken, lost and confused
My ex-lover had left me, battered and bruised
Then I saw you, on the dance floor, your body grooving to a tune
When I laid eyes on you, I saw no one else but you in the room
Your brown skin, your sexy smile
The way you danced truly drove me wild
The night I met you, I had a heart of stone
The night I met you, I was content on being alone
I had cried my last tears, felt my last fears
My ex-lover left me to feel lonely for years
Then I talked to you, your voice so smooth and kind
My heart raced, beating faster than time
Your smooth soft lips and the warmth of your breath
I almost fell to my knees I had to catch myself
No more pain, no despair
I’m in love with you and I just don’t care
I’m finally happy again, never thought it could happen
It is now your heart that I am trapped in
You say you love me and I feel the same
I give you all of me and feel no shame
My GOD I never thought this could be
Now my heart is ready for the bond of you and me
There’s no explanation on the way we feel
What I do know is that these feelings are real
All I want is for us to always stay together
I pray it will be me and you forever
Kru-Shal/08/19/98
Reflections
As the years go on and on, I think of the past
I have been told that the past should remain in the past to allow room for the future
Years of love and years of pain
At times these reflections leave me standing in the pouring rain
Happiness and sadness cloud my mind, all at once, not one at a time
My strength seems obsolete, no matter what I do I loose the feeling in my feet
I don’t want to know the future I fear it may destroy my perception of life
I don’t want to know the future sometimes it’s best to be left in the dark than to be guided into light
That was then, this is now
I’ve change my way of thinking and don’t know how
You thought that was the present, Oh no that couldn’t be
What you read were merely reflections I hold deep inside of me
kru-shal/04/12/99
I have been told that the past should remain in the past to allow room for the future
Years of love and years of pain
At times these reflections leave me standing in the pouring rain
Happiness and sadness cloud my mind, all at once, not one at a time
My strength seems obsolete, no matter what I do I loose the feeling in my feet
I don’t want to know the future I fear it may destroy my perception of life
I don’t want to know the future sometimes it’s best to be left in the dark than to be guided into light
That was then, this is now
I’ve change my way of thinking and don’t know how
You thought that was the present, Oh no that couldn’t be
What you read were merely reflections I hold deep inside of me
kru-shal/04/12/99
Mate Of Soul
Hey cutie, where have you been all my life?
I just met you and already things seem to be all right
You bring out the best in me, things that I’ve buried so deep
If you aren’t the one for me in the long run, I’ll hold your
memory to keep
Don’t be afraid of me saying how I feel
I’m just a deep feeling person who likes to keep it real
You have things about you that make me check myself
Before you came along, there was no one else
My days of loneliness, depression and frustration
So quick to accept outings with fools, with no hesitation
The way we met still trips me out
Me looking at your number with that large cloud of doubt
When I heard your voice it blew me away
What if you reject me? Would I take that as a small price to pay?
But we met and everything was so nice
So glad that I swallowed my pride and took my own advice
So let me just end this by saying, “You bring out the happiness in me,
I honestly loose control.”
YES!!! I’m positive that it is all because of you, my MATE OF SOUL!
kru-shal/07/06/99
I just met you and already things seem to be all right
You bring out the best in me, things that I’ve buried so deep
If you aren’t the one for me in the long run, I’ll hold your
memory to keep
Don’t be afraid of me saying how I feel
I’m just a deep feeling person who likes to keep it real
You have things about you that make me check myself
Before you came along, there was no one else
My days of loneliness, depression and frustration
So quick to accept outings with fools, with no hesitation
The way we met still trips me out
Me looking at your number with that large cloud of doubt
When I heard your voice it blew me away
What if you reject me? Would I take that as a small price to pay?
But we met and everything was so nice
So glad that I swallowed my pride and took my own advice
So let me just end this by saying, “You bring out the happiness in me,
I honestly loose control.”
YES!!! I’m positive that it is all because of you, my MATE OF SOUL!
kru-shal/07/06/99
Crying Dream
This morning I awoke
Drenched down in sweat
So stunned I thought I would choke
It was this dream, this reoccurring dream I couldn’t get
In the dream you are in the arms of another
But yet you lay beside me all wrapped in cover
Are you true to me? Is there deception in your heart?
Was it a lie when you said we would never be apart?
I know not to accuse, but yet feel concern
Would you lie to me?
Is there a past I have yet to learn?
Is it worry I feel?
Is it just plain jealousy?
Is it that I have a right to think this as you come in late, then lie next to me?
You wear a face of guilt, lying there so snuggled in your quilt
I am not thinking silly thoughts, even though that’s how it may seem
I am only reacting to my CRYING DREAM!
Kru-Shal/1998
Drenched down in sweat
So stunned I thought I would choke
It was this dream, this reoccurring dream I couldn’t get
In the dream you are in the arms of another
But yet you lay beside me all wrapped in cover
Are you true to me? Is there deception in your heart?
Was it a lie when you said we would never be apart?
I know not to accuse, but yet feel concern
Would you lie to me?
Is there a past I have yet to learn?
Is it worry I feel?
Is it just plain jealousy?
Is it that I have a right to think this as you come in late, then lie next to me?
You wear a face of guilt, lying there so snuggled in your quilt
I am not thinking silly thoughts, even though that’s how it may seem
I am only reacting to my CRYING DREAM!
Kru-Shal/1998
Head Mother
Before everyone I stand. No longer a boy, but a man
I speak of a woman, a woman we all know
Someone blessed with wisdom from head to toe
Every time I would see her, she’d read me like a book
But hearing her firm Motherly voice would be all it took
Though some may say she never showed it, she loved us all
She expressed her feelings to everyone, expression either big or small
She’s gone now, such a sad, sad day
She hasn’t left us totally, though it seems that way
I know her wish would be for all us to get closer
As any Mother would want their family to do
I find it a shame that it took her passing for it barely to come true
So won’t you all stand and hold hands, say that you love one another
So this would be a dream come true for our,
“Head Mother”
RIP Rubena Williams Gordon Kerse
kru-shal/1999
I speak of a woman, a woman we all know
Someone blessed with wisdom from head to toe
Every time I would see her, she’d read me like a book
But hearing her firm Motherly voice would be all it took
Though some may say she never showed it, she loved us all
She expressed her feelings to everyone, expression either big or small
She’s gone now, such a sad, sad day
She hasn’t left us totally, though it seems that way
I know her wish would be for all us to get closer
As any Mother would want their family to do
I find it a shame that it took her passing for it barely to come true
So won’t you all stand and hold hands, say that you love one another
So this would be a dream come true for our,
“Head Mother”
RIP Rubena Williams Gordon Kerse
kru-shal/1999
I Soar Far and Above
My journey has begun, I know now where I’m headed
I’ve lost my way before, my heart was shattered by someone
I thought I was truly in love with
It didn’t work out, So I got the Hell Out!
I’ve learned my lesson and now I’m ready to face whatever
As long as I continue to believe in Gregory James Upson,
and no longer depend on that so called love,
I know that I will always and forever,
Soar Far And Above!
I’ve lost my way before, my heart was shattered by someone
I thought I was truly in love with
It didn’t work out, So I got the Hell Out!
I’ve learned my lesson and now I’m ready to face whatever
As long as I continue to believe in Gregory James Upson,
and no longer depend on that so called love,
I know that I will always and forever,
Soar Far And Above!
Yours Forever
People question your love for me
Some say it isn’t real
Most say there are games I have yet to see
Others say it’s untrue love I feel
I look upon them with pride
I stand tall with heart full of glee
I love true there’s nothing to hide
I have the understanding that you are loving me
Above all opinions that they own, they say we shouldn’t be together
I just smile and hold you in my arms, and I know that I’m, YOURS FOREVER!
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Some say it isn’t real
Most say there are games I have yet to see
Others say it’s untrue love I feel
I look upon them with pride
I stand tall with heart full of glee
I love true there’s nothing to hide
I have the understanding that you are loving me
Above all opinions that they own, they say we shouldn’t be together
I just smile and hold you in my arms, and I know that I’m, YOURS FOREVER!
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Taking A Step
I’ve been avoiding this for far too long
Always thinking that my hope for acceptance would be too strong
Now I realize that to be happy, to be excepted, to become one, to
actually be respected, I have to accept myself, and not to worry
about anyone else
Since I’ve come to that realization, there’s less and less frustration
You can’t feel stress or pressure when it comes to being who you
are
Don’t be afraid to put them in their place if they go too far
Some are just ignorant, not sure of what they speak
Some are threatened by life that makes their own lifestyle weak
No one can hurt me, I can only hurt myself
Should I just focus on my life, forget everyone else
No! Be there for those who need you
Ask GOD to bless those who deceive you
Whenever there’s trouble, you’ll know whose friendship is true
When the true colors have shown, it’s best you do what you need
to do
Don’t tit for tat, we’ll have none of that
Only fight strong with positive and strong potential facts
In the end, goodness will prevail, and all of that unnecessary s***
can go to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Always thinking that my hope for acceptance would be too strong
Now I realize that to be happy, to be excepted, to become one, to
actually be respected, I have to accept myself, and not to worry
about anyone else
Since I’ve come to that realization, there’s less and less frustration
You can’t feel stress or pressure when it comes to being who you
are
Don’t be afraid to put them in their place if they go too far
Some are just ignorant, not sure of what they speak
Some are threatened by life that makes their own lifestyle weak
No one can hurt me, I can only hurt myself
Should I just focus on my life, forget everyone else
No! Be there for those who need you
Ask GOD to bless those who deceive you
Whenever there’s trouble, you’ll know whose friendship is true
When the true colors have shown, it’s best you do what you need
to do
Don’t tit for tat, we’ll have none of that
Only fight strong with positive and strong potential facts
In the end, goodness will prevail, and all of that unnecessary s***
can go to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
More Expensive Than Money
My beat up old race car
My shiny play pistol
My little shining star
My red and blue blow whistle
All of these things are of value, to me at least
Nothing touched my heart more
I still remember the day I purchased them from the store
All brand new, shiny and fair
I threw all my other toys away without a care
Every night before I slept
It was those toys, that in bed I kept
When I got older my interest in them grew small
So I tossed them away, not one but all
Now as I reminisce on the times of being a child
Unlike the other kids my toys kept me from going wild
This may sound alittle childish and over all funny
But in my heart, those toys were, “MORE EXPENSIVE THAN MONEY!”
Kru-Shal/1998
My shiny play pistol
My little shining star
My red and blue blow whistle
All of these things are of value, to me at least
Nothing touched my heart more
I still remember the day I purchased them from the store
All brand new, shiny and fair
I threw all my other toys away without a care
Every night before I slept
It was those toys, that in bed I kept
When I got older my interest in them grew small
So I tossed them away, not one but all
Now as I reminisce on the times of being a child
Unlike the other kids my toys kept me from going wild
This may sound alittle childish and over all funny
But in my heart, those toys were, “MORE EXPENSIVE THAN MONEY!”
Kru-Shal/1998
Kisses Count
Smooches here, smooches there
It was a beginning, not much of a care
I’d hit you, you’d hit me
I’d push you down for my friends to see
Thinking about it, it’s so funny, I was a little fool
Just two kids flirting in grade school
Time has passed nothing stays the same
Everything between us suddenly changed
Everyone knew it would come to this
You’ve always told me, that it was your wish
Changing from crazy kids to husband and wife
There is now a new chapter in our life
We’re together now, and it’s meant to last
GOD! How time can go so fast
No matter what problems we face, we’ll work them out
Our love will prevail and that’s no doubt
If only everyone knew how much those kisses count
Kru-Shal/9/12/98
It was a beginning, not much of a care
I’d hit you, you’d hit me
I’d push you down for my friends to see
Thinking about it, it’s so funny, I was a little fool
Just two kids flirting in grade school
Time has passed nothing stays the same
Everything between us suddenly changed
Everyone knew it would come to this
You’ve always told me, that it was your wish
Changing from crazy kids to husband and wife
There is now a new chapter in our life
We’re together now, and it’s meant to last
GOD! How time can go so fast
No matter what problems we face, we’ll work them out
Our love will prevail and that’s no doubt
If only everyone knew how much those kisses count
Kru-Shal/9/12/98
Broken Heart
Here I sit in a painted room as bare as the skin on my back
My eyes full of water which over flows when sorrow has knocked upon my door
Where to begin of the reasons of this feeling
Why should I explain?
For it is of your doing that I feel pain
Kru-Shal/1998
My eyes full of water which over flows when sorrow has knocked upon my door
Where to begin of the reasons of this feeling
Why should I explain?
For it is of your doing that I feel pain
Kru-Shal/1998
Destiny
Wash clothes, clean the house, feed the baby and your spouse
Time alone seems down right impossible
How I maintain from insanity, is very remarkable
I don’t feel like I am not appreciated for the things I do
I always get my praise, my props, from my lover, Oh so true
Where is my other life, has it yet to appear
Could I have let it slip by, at least that is what I fear
Sometimes I catch myself, I have a tendency to babble
Because I know that road you choose, is the road you must travel
Kru-Shal/1998
Time alone seems down right impossible
How I maintain from insanity, is very remarkable
I don’t feel like I am not appreciated for the things I do
I always get my praise, my props, from my lover, Oh so true
Where is my other life, has it yet to appear
Could I have let it slip by, at least that is what I fear
Sometimes I catch myself, I have a tendency to babble
Because I know that road you choose, is the road you must travel
Kru-Shal/1998
Fight No More
The battle is over, you fight no more
Let your soul rest now, let your spirit soar
Tears will fall, lives will change
But what would you expect, such a beautiful person,
everyone will no longer be the same
Your struggle was long, but your fight was longer
Your pain was strong, but your will was much stronger
Your impact on our lives will always exist
No matter what changes come about, you’ll always be
missed
You’ve left behind, a token of your love
He will grow to be someone special, with your guidance
from above
The pain lays hard, the road to acceptance is long
But I promise you this, I will always be strong
The battle is over you fight no more
Let your soul rest now let your spirit soar
LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER
LET YOUR SPIRIT SOAR
Kru-Shal/1998
PHYLIS KEY
Let your soul rest now, let your spirit soar
Tears will fall, lives will change
But what would you expect, such a beautiful person,
everyone will no longer be the same
Your struggle was long, but your fight was longer
Your pain was strong, but your will was much stronger
Your impact on our lives will always exist
No matter what changes come about, you’ll always be
missed
You’ve left behind, a token of your love
He will grow to be someone special, with your guidance
from above
The pain lays hard, the road to acceptance is long
But I promise you this, I will always be strong
The battle is over you fight no more
Let your soul rest now let your spirit soar
LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER
LET YOUR SPIRIT SOAR
Kru-Shal/1998
PHYLIS KEY
Free
Trapped! I hear the wind from the whip
Screams! As I feel the pain
Crys! As I feel blood pouring down my hip
Lonely! As I stay strapped in the rain
When will it end? I ask so pleadingly
Where’s my life? Do I have one to live?
Is there a chance for me to be who I want to be?
What reason is it that I can’t receive, but must give?
Suddenly, a weight has been lifted
The sun shines upon my lifeless body
I feel as though I’ve finally been gifted
I’m being pulled away from this mad world slowly and softly
What? Is that a light I see?
Is this an angel that has come for me?
The soars and scares are no longer where they use to be
Praise the lord! I’m finally “FREE”
Kru-Shal/1998
Screams! As I feel the pain
Crys! As I feel blood pouring down my hip
Lonely! As I stay strapped in the rain
When will it end? I ask so pleadingly
Where’s my life? Do I have one to live?
Is there a chance for me to be who I want to be?
What reason is it that I can’t receive, but must give?
Suddenly, a weight has been lifted
The sun shines upon my lifeless body
I feel as though I’ve finally been gifted
I’m being pulled away from this mad world slowly and softly
What? Is that a light I see?
Is this an angel that has come for me?
The soars and scares are no longer where they use to be
Praise the lord! I’m finally “FREE”
Kru-Shal/1998
Keeping It Real
“I’m keeping it real!” That’s your response to every question of your
personality
Explain how you feel, the form maturity, to you, is a formality
What does it mean? Can you even explain?
You say it with such vigor!
It rolls off of your tongue, as does the notorious word, Nigga!”
If this is your defense when confronted with a debate, only intelligence will
rule and your ignorance will be too late
In dealing with other people, “Keeping it real”, may cause intimidation and
irritation
When faced for judgement your life will be seen through and through
There will be no one there at the time, but GOD and you
When he places his hand down to you for judgement, waiting on your response
on how you feel, you’d better hope that GOD believes in your saying,
“Keeping it real!”
Kru-Shal/6/23/98
personality
Explain how you feel, the form maturity, to you, is a formality
What does it mean? Can you even explain?
You say it with such vigor!
It rolls off of your tongue, as does the notorious word, Nigga!”
If this is your defense when confronted with a debate, only intelligence will
rule and your ignorance will be too late
In dealing with other people, “Keeping it real”, may cause intimidation and
irritation
When faced for judgement your life will be seen through and through
There will be no one there at the time, but GOD and you
When he places his hand down to you for judgement, waiting on your response
on how you feel, you’d better hope that GOD believes in your saying,
“Keeping it real!”
Kru-Shal/6/23/98
Mother
You started out as a child
Your heart running free, your mind running wild
No worries in the world, just a little free spirited girl
As time went on, you became more aware
Knowing so much, so quickly gave your maturing
heart a bit of a scare
You survived through it all, one time you stand
one time you fall
Now you have little spirits running through the
world, eyes full of glow
Over protective Mother, safing your child from
the life that you already know
Through your guidance they will stand tall
Through your guidance there will be a cushion
for their fall
The world has been blessed with the soft
Mother’s caress
Of all the blessings that a child could own, after
you there is no other
Stand tall and proud, for you are the earth,
you are the “Mother”
kru-shal/1998
Your heart running free, your mind running wild
No worries in the world, just a little free spirited girl
As time went on, you became more aware
Knowing so much, so quickly gave your maturing
heart a bit of a scare
You survived through it all, one time you stand
one time you fall
Now you have little spirits running through the
world, eyes full of glow
Over protective Mother, safing your child from
the life that you already know
Through your guidance they will stand tall
Through your guidance there will be a cushion
for their fall
The world has been blessed with the soft
Mother’s caress
Of all the blessings that a child could own, after
you there is no other
Stand tall and proud, for you are the earth,
you are the “Mother”
kru-shal/1998
My Mistake
My words have hurt you
I’m sorry that they weren’t what you wanted to hear
Maybe this is over for us
Maybe that’s exactly what you feared
I can’t take back what was said
For these were feelings that lingered deep inside of my head
Now that they have all poured out
We are left in a state of doubt
Where do we go from here?
Are you willing to talk it through?
Has this really changed our atmosphere?
Just let me know what you wanna do
In a relationship I thought that being open and honest was the best way
Now it seems that I’ve hurt your heart with the words I had to say
You’re treating me harsh and that’s a little more than I can take
Here I thought you wanted someone real, I guess that was My Mistake!
kru-shal/1998
I’m sorry that they weren’t what you wanted to hear
Maybe this is over for us
Maybe that’s exactly what you feared
I can’t take back what was said
For these were feelings that lingered deep inside of my head
Now that they have all poured out
We are left in a state of doubt
Where do we go from here?
Are you willing to talk it through?
Has this really changed our atmosphere?
Just let me know what you wanna do
In a relationship I thought that being open and honest was the best way
Now it seems that I’ve hurt your heart with the words I had to say
You’re treating me harsh and that’s a little more than I can take
Here I thought you wanted someone real, I guess that was My Mistake!
kru-shal/1998
So Scared
Where am I? What am I? Who I am?
Why won’t people just let me be?
I don’t know where to go?
Who will help me?
No matter what I try to do to make it, it never seems to work
Everybody that I thought was my friends are the very ones that left me hurt
I can’t be myself without people changing face
They disregard my feelings and treat me as if I was a disgrace
More and more I find the urge to just run away
Though I know that no matter where I go those same demons are here to stay
I try to be nice, kind and carefree
No matter what I do they still disrespect me
One day I know that I will stand tall and strong not fearing a damn thing
Those same demons will emerge and I will ward off all the negativity they bring
I won’t run away, I won’t be afraid
I will burn this bed of pity that I have made
Hopefully that day will be soon, as swiftly as can be
I feel it but I just can’t pull out that strength inside of me
I can’t speak now, even if I was dared
I wanna be stronger but I’m just So Scared!
07/16/99 – Kru-Shal
Why won’t people just let me be?
I don’t know where to go?
Who will help me?
No matter what I try to do to make it, it never seems to work
Everybody that I thought was my friends are the very ones that left me hurt
I can’t be myself without people changing face
They disregard my feelings and treat me as if I was a disgrace
More and more I find the urge to just run away
Though I know that no matter where I go those same demons are here to stay
I try to be nice, kind and carefree
No matter what I do they still disrespect me
One day I know that I will stand tall and strong not fearing a damn thing
Those same demons will emerge and I will ward off all the negativity they bring
I won’t run away, I won’t be afraid
I will burn this bed of pity that I have made
Hopefully that day will be soon, as swiftly as can be
I feel it but I just can’t pull out that strength inside of me
I can’t speak now, even if I was dared
I wanna be stronger but I’m just So Scared!
07/16/99 – Kru-Shal
Angel
Always smiling, laughing, feeling free
It was you who brought out the best in me
When times were hard, you were harder
When fools got smart, you’d get smarter
My self-esteem was very low, but you made it high
When I felt the need to shed a tear, you’d give me reasons
not to cry
My strength has increased
My tension has released
If you could only see me now
Oh GOD! How you would be so proud
It’s been a year, since the day you left
Since that day, I’ve fend for myself
I wish I were there to say good-bye, but I was too late
I wanna ask why? But the subject is not for debate
Though you are not physically here with me, we are far apart,
but you know that I will always hold you close to my heart
Kru-Shal/1998
It was you who brought out the best in me
When times were hard, you were harder
When fools got smart, you’d get smarter
My self-esteem was very low, but you made it high
When I felt the need to shed a tear, you’d give me reasons
not to cry
My strength has increased
My tension has released
If you could only see me now
Oh GOD! How you would be so proud
It’s been a year, since the day you left
Since that day, I’ve fend for myself
I wish I were there to say good-bye, but I was too late
I wanna ask why? But the subject is not for debate
Though you are not physically here with me, we are far apart,
but you know that I will always hold you close to my heart
Kru-Shal/1998
Now I Know
This morning I awoke feeling full of glee
What the hell was it? That’s not me
So I went on with my normal routine as if the feeling would go away
The more my mind pondered the more the feeling seemed to stay
This can’t be right; that’s just not the way that I think I should be feeling now
I’m still angry from the past that seems to stay on a constant, never knowing how
I’m not letting up as easy as before, that’s the reason I am the way I am
So feeling you can just go to hell because I just don’t give a damn
I’m sick of giving myself and then being stripped of my loyalty
It seems like no matter what I try to do there’s someone out there that gets the best of me
I know, I’ll just play this little game that this feeling as started
It shouldn’t be hard, and through this game I’m not going to let down my guard
I’ll be ready for those little signs that will alert me to bail when it seems you aren’t gonna stay on a steady flow
I’ll admit I love you…
Wait! Is that what it is? Is it you?
Is this new part of my life causing me to feel the way I do?
Look at me, standing here trying to be bad while my face is full of glow
The real deal is that I love you, so Now I Know!
07/16/99 – Kru-Shal
What the hell was it? That’s not me
So I went on with my normal routine as if the feeling would go away
The more my mind pondered the more the feeling seemed to stay
This can’t be right; that’s just not the way that I think I should be feeling now
I’m still angry from the past that seems to stay on a constant, never knowing how
I’m not letting up as easy as before, that’s the reason I am the way I am
So feeling you can just go to hell because I just don’t give a damn
I’m sick of giving myself and then being stripped of my loyalty
It seems like no matter what I try to do there’s someone out there that gets the best of me
I know, I’ll just play this little game that this feeling as started
It shouldn’t be hard, and through this game I’m not going to let down my guard
I’ll be ready for those little signs that will alert me to bail when it seems you aren’t gonna stay on a steady flow
I’ll admit I love you…
Wait! Is that what it is? Is it you?
Is this new part of my life causing me to feel the way I do?
Look at me, standing here trying to be bad while my face is full of glow
The real deal is that I love you, so Now I Know!
07/16/99 – Kru-Shal
One Woman Per Household
Who pays the bills?
Who cleans the rooms?
Who was the one to take you off of your training wheels?
Who was the one that got you through school with a push of a broom?
Now you’re older, smelling the scents of life
Boys are now men in your eyes
To you, it’s take it now, no need to think twice
Yet you still lay your head on my bed
Eat the food that I cook
You are still a little girl, no matter how mature you think you look
You have the nerve to argue, like you’re say means a thang
I pay the bills, the house is mine, I hold the rights to sing the song that’s sang
You say that I crowd you, pretty soon you’ll be gone
Then get your stuff together and leave if you think you’re so grown!
Kru-Shal/9/12/98
Who cleans the rooms?
Who was the one to take you off of your training wheels?
Who was the one that got you through school with a push of a broom?
Now you’re older, smelling the scents of life
Boys are now men in your eyes
To you, it’s take it now, no need to think twice
Yet you still lay your head on my bed
Eat the food that I cook
You are still a little girl, no matter how mature you think you look
You have the nerve to argue, like you’re say means a thang
I pay the bills, the house is mine, I hold the rights to sing the song that’s sang
You say that I crowd you, pretty soon you’ll be gone
Then get your stuff together and leave if you think you’re so grown!
Kru-Shal/9/12/98
My Prayer
What is my purpose?
Oh Lord! Where does my destiny lie?
In the era of progression, I stand tall
In the time to leave it in your hands, I allow the fall
Though I never give up
I guess you can say it’s in me to be strong
The road ahead will be defeated no matter how short or long
Though the vibes around me, feed off of my sanity
They never show face, they just hold on to me
Where I am weak, thou art strong
Though I shall not show weakness until the tides are gone
I shall not lie to you, for you are the beholder
What paths will I take as I grow older?
I know you never give us more than we can bare
The amount you give us, we are inclined to share
I love, praise and respect you now as I did then
This prayer is for you my dear Lord
-Amen-
Kru-Shal/9/12/98
Oh Lord! Where does my destiny lie?
In the era of progression, I stand tall
In the time to leave it in your hands, I allow the fall
Though I never give up
I guess you can say it’s in me to be strong
The road ahead will be defeated no matter how short or long
Though the vibes around me, feed off of my sanity
They never show face, they just hold on to me
Where I am weak, thou art strong
Though I shall not show weakness until the tides are gone
I shall not lie to you, for you are the beholder
What paths will I take as I grow older?
I know you never give us more than we can bare
The amount you give us, we are inclined to share
I love, praise and respect you now as I did then
This prayer is for you my dear Lord
-Amen-
Kru-Shal/9/12/98
Last Chance
Can anyone think of a better reason to shed a tear?
You know, crying is the opposite of grinning, having
your lips stretch from ear to ear.
Mind boggling expressions, shall I sum them up for you?
You’re so mature, no one can tell you what to do!
Gratitude is also a form of expression, in which you choose
not to use.
Loyalty is faithfully given, but you choose to abuse.
Wake up and smell reality! Being genuine is not just a
formality!
Let me break it down abruptly, give you a chance before
you go.
Here’s your time to make a choice, I don’t want to hear
any hesitation, it’s either gonna be Yes or No!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kru-Shal/5/12/98
You know, crying is the opposite of grinning, having
your lips stretch from ear to ear.
Mind boggling expressions, shall I sum them up for you?
You’re so mature, no one can tell you what to do!
Gratitude is also a form of expression, in which you choose
not to use.
Loyalty is faithfully given, but you choose to abuse.
Wake up and smell reality! Being genuine is not just a
formality!
Let me break it down abruptly, give you a chance before
you go.
Here’s your time to make a choice, I don’t want to hear
any hesitation, it’s either gonna be Yes or No!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kru-Shal/5/12/98
Quench My Thirst
DAMN!! I’m thirsty! My mouth so dry, emotions so empty
Facing problems everyday, which there are plenty
No taste in my mouth, my tongues so numb
This effect on me seems kinda of dumb
I’ve been single long enough to be use to it
I don’t have to answer to anyone, or put up with un-
necessary sh**!
It’s not the heat of the sun, Oh no it couldn’t be
It’s not the dryness of the wind, that is so plain to see
I guess I’m tired of being alone
Coming home after work, sitting by an unringing phone
I feel kinda relaxed, but on top of that alittle unsure
I’ve had my feel of love, but now I think I’m ready for more
There’s an empty void in my heart that needs to be filled, for a lover
or friend
I guess whatever comes first, just as long as they can , “Quench My Thirst!”
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Facing problems everyday, which there are plenty
No taste in my mouth, my tongues so numb
This effect on me seems kinda of dumb
I’ve been single long enough to be use to it
I don’t have to answer to anyone, or put up with un-
necessary sh**!
It’s not the heat of the sun, Oh no it couldn’t be
It’s not the dryness of the wind, that is so plain to see
I guess I’m tired of being alone
Coming home after work, sitting by an unringing phone
I feel kinda relaxed, but on top of that alittle unsure
I’ve had my feel of love, but now I think I’m ready for more
There’s an empty void in my heart that needs to be filled, for a lover
or friend
I guess whatever comes first, just as long as they can , “Quench My Thirst!”
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Reality
?
Is it good to live by dreams and dreams alone
Is it possible that someone could lie to you and love
you the same time and not be wrong
The many thoughts of unsureness that cloud your mind time
after time, should they be ignored
Is it possible that you can spend a lifetime with someone, and
always feel bored
When you cry over a loved one, do you cry because it’s over, or do you
cry for relief
!
All I know is that pain is pain, life is life, sometimes it can be cool, some-
times it can be trife
All those questions and no answers are like a body without a soul
Or a life with no control
All I ask is that when asking these insane questions over and over to me,
does it ever cross your mind that I actually live in, “Reality!”
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Is it good to live by dreams and dreams alone
Is it possible that someone could lie to you and love
you the same time and not be wrong
The many thoughts of unsureness that cloud your mind time
after time, should they be ignored
Is it possible that you can spend a lifetime with someone, and
always feel bored
When you cry over a loved one, do you cry because it’s over, or do you
cry for relief
!
All I know is that pain is pain, life is life, sometimes it can be cool, some-
times it can be trife
All those questions and no answers are like a body without a soul
Or a life with no control
All I ask is that when asking these insane questions over and over to me,
does it ever cross your mind that I actually live in, “Reality!”
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Sanity
Here light is unplentiful, but darkness is over barring
My face expresses my feelings though there are many faces I am wearing
Enter my mind but brace yourself, for what you find will be unlike any experience you’ve ever encountered
Break the field which leads to my sanity and be most successfully rewarded
For you have saved my mind from insanity which rages inside of me
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
My face expresses my feelings though there are many faces I am wearing
Enter my mind but brace yourself, for what you find will be unlike any experience you’ve ever encountered
Break the field which leads to my sanity and be most successfully rewarded
For you have saved my mind from insanity which rages inside of me
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Sexy & Sensational
As I walk proudly on my stroll
I notice all eyes are of my control
My firm back, my brown eyes
My innocent smile, my high point on the rise
Not to speak proudly, but true
If you’ve got it, flaunt it, you’d do the same too
Comments I hear, insults I ignore
Life is my pleasure, I crave for more
Don’t be turned away by my honesty and truth
Just accept me for what I am, a Sexy and Sensational Youth!
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
I notice all eyes are of my control
My firm back, my brown eyes
My innocent smile, my high point on the rise
Not to speak proudly, but true
If you’ve got it, flaunt it, you’d do the same too
Comments I hear, insults I ignore
Life is my pleasure, I crave for more
Don’t be turned away by my honesty and truth
Just accept me for what I am, a Sexy and Sensational Youth!
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Sometimes
Sometimes when I’m alone in my room I begin to dream
It sometimes turn into a dream of happy and joyful thoughts
Most nights it is all dark and cold, I can’t turn away from the dark
spirits that face me
Sometimes I pray before I sleep, hoping that the dreams are going
to be dreams that I will enjoy
Sometimes I ask my Mother about my dreams, she tells me that my dreams
reflect my inner thoughts, emotions, and intentions
Sometimes when I think about that remark it frightens me
I sometimes wonder what type of person I truly am
I remember days when I hungered for the misery of others
Sometimes I even did things that I knew would trigger unhappiness
in someone’s life
I use to always want, but was damned sure that I wasn’t going to
give
Sometimes I would feel sorry for a lost soul and would offer a friendship
But when they annoyed me, I’d join the crowd to destroy their confidence
Now I’ve faced those demons and started my life all over again
I’ve made amends with all of those poor defenseless souls that I tried
so hard to destroy
They tell me now, that I am someone all together genuine and they trust
my well being
But if they only knew that I feel like being who I use to be, so I could just
be alone, “SOMETIMES!”
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
It sometimes turn into a dream of happy and joyful thoughts
Most nights it is all dark and cold, I can’t turn away from the dark
spirits that face me
Sometimes I pray before I sleep, hoping that the dreams are going
to be dreams that I will enjoy
Sometimes I ask my Mother about my dreams, she tells me that my dreams
reflect my inner thoughts, emotions, and intentions
Sometimes when I think about that remark it frightens me
I sometimes wonder what type of person I truly am
I remember days when I hungered for the misery of others
Sometimes I even did things that I knew would trigger unhappiness
in someone’s life
I use to always want, but was damned sure that I wasn’t going to
give
Sometimes I would feel sorry for a lost soul and would offer a friendship
But when they annoyed me, I’d join the crowd to destroy their confidence
Now I’ve faced those demons and started my life all over again
I’ve made amends with all of those poor defenseless souls that I tried
so hard to destroy
They tell me now, that I am someone all together genuine and they trust
my well being
But if they only knew that I feel like being who I use to be, so I could just
be alone, “SOMETIMES!”
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Telling It Like It Is
Feeble minded, loud, and lost
Trying to make points out of nothing, at any cost
Chancing, running, and gone
Always trying to balance the difference between
right and wrong
Still searching endlessly, “What is your goal today?”
Face your troubles head on, only fearful cowards turn
away
Though this is truth I speak, yet you still find fault
When points have been made, it brings your idioticy to
a halt
So live your life right, not like a super star in the “Biz”
But leave to you to challenge me, “Telling it like it is!”
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Trying to make points out of nothing, at any cost
Chancing, running, and gone
Always trying to balance the difference between
right and wrong
Still searching endlessly, “What is your goal today?”
Face your troubles head on, only fearful cowards turn
away
Though this is truth I speak, yet you still find fault
When points have been made, it brings your idioticy to
a halt
So live your life right, not like a super star in the “Biz”
But leave to you to challenge me, “Telling it like it is!”
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Words To Live By
TO LIVE WITH NO VISION, IS TO LIVE BLIND
TO ALWAYS FIND THE EASY WAY OUT,
IS THE DEFIANCE OF TIME
JUST BE REAL, BE YOURSELF, NO MATTER
HOW PEOPLE MAY FEEL
IN THE END YOU’LL SEE THE CHANGE THAT
YOU’VE MADE
ON YOUR DYING DAY, YOU WILL REPLENISH
THE SPIRIT THAT YOU’VE SAVED
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
TO ALWAYS FIND THE EASY WAY OUT,
IS THE DEFIANCE OF TIME
JUST BE REAL, BE YOURSELF, NO MATTER
HOW PEOPLE MAY FEEL
IN THE END YOU’LL SEE THE CHANGE THAT
YOU’VE MADE
ON YOUR DYING DAY, YOU WILL REPLENISH
THE SPIRIT THAT YOU’VE SAVED
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Where Are You Now
This morning I awoke, you weren’t lying next to me
I got up feeling so lonely and miserable
I wanted to cry, but didn’t really know why
Went to the restroom to get myself together for the beginning of
the day
I remember when you use to wake up feeling the same way
Dragging your feet, rubbing your head
I never could quite understand thoughs grouchy undertones you
said
Now I’m getting dressed, but not sure of what to wear
I’m staring at shoes, every single pair
When you were here, you’d have everything laid out
You’d fix me my breakfast, then kiss me on your way out
It’s been 6 weeks, 4 days, 5 hours, and 15 minutes since we departed
Even tough it was my decision, I still feel broken hearted
I’m managing on my own and don’t even know how
But every night I cry and wonder, “WHERE ARE YOU NOW?!”
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
I got up feeling so lonely and miserable
I wanted to cry, but didn’t really know why
Went to the restroom to get myself together for the beginning of
the day
I remember when you use to wake up feeling the same way
Dragging your feet, rubbing your head
I never could quite understand thoughs grouchy undertones you
said
Now I’m getting dressed, but not sure of what to wear
I’m staring at shoes, every single pair
When you were here, you’d have everything laid out
You’d fix me my breakfast, then kiss me on your way out
It’s been 6 weeks, 4 days, 5 hours, and 15 minutes since we departed
Even tough it was my decision, I still feel broken hearted
I’m managing on my own and don’t even know how
But every night I cry and wonder, “WHERE ARE YOU NOW?!”
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
What Have I Become
I use to be shy, always on a low
There would be invitations for travel, I’d refuse to go
I use to be overly emotional, I’d drop a tear as I would a load
Life was like a soap opera I’d dread the next episode
Just like the seasons I’d began to change
My whole atmosphere of thought suddenly began to rearrange
Now I feel that I have to say whats on my mind
So many places to go, such little time
My direction has changed I only care of where my life is going
No care of where it’s come from
Though people have asked me before, I ask myself now, “WHAT HAVE I BECOME!?”
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
There would be invitations for travel, I’d refuse to go
I use to be overly emotional, I’d drop a tear as I would a load
Life was like a soap opera I’d dread the next episode
Just like the seasons I’d began to change
My whole atmosphere of thought suddenly began to rearrange
Now I feel that I have to say whats on my mind
So many places to go, such little time
My direction has changed I only care of where my life is going
No care of where it’s come from
Though people have asked me before, I ask myself now, “WHAT HAVE I BECOME!?”
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Who I Am
When I awaken from a long restful sleep, I slowly, and softly rise to my feet
“Who Am I?”
I put out my clothes, take a shower, stay in the bathroom primping for at least an hour
“Who Am I?”
When I am ready for the day, I step out of my house with total confidence and assurance
I am carefree, understanding, and have the most endurance of tolerance
“Who Am I?”
When I’m in the presence of others, I stand tall and face them with the readiness to mengal
The stature I carry and the out spoken attitude I have, you wouldn’t even know that I was single
“Who Am I?”
I hold my head high, my linguistics in check
I am appreciative and thankful for the comments I get
But when it comes to a debate about my self presence and attitude
I just brush it off, no need to be rude
“Who Am I?” It’s so obvious to see, I couldn’t live my life no better, than just being me!
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
“Who Am I?”
I put out my clothes, take a shower, stay in the bathroom primping for at least an hour
“Who Am I?”
When I am ready for the day, I step out of my house with total confidence and assurance
I am carefree, understanding, and have the most endurance of tolerance
“Who Am I?”
When I’m in the presence of others, I stand tall and face them with the readiness to mengal
The stature I carry and the out spoken attitude I have, you wouldn’t even know that I was single
“Who Am I?”
I hold my head high, my linguistics in check
I am appreciative and thankful for the comments I get
But when it comes to a debate about my self presence and attitude
I just brush it off, no need to be rude
“Who Am I?” It’s so obvious to see, I couldn’t live my life no better, than just being me!
Kru-Shal/4/20/98
Cry Out To You
Well just another surface of faith which has been scratched
From the heart I bleed out to you, many times before you’ve answered, now you ignore me as though I’m unimportant
Though I am here to give you my, “Please talk to me!” My words bounce off of you like the falling rain
Why I feel this, I’m blanked with uncertainty
All I do know is that you hear me, but don’t reply
All I ask is, “Why Oh Why!?”
Kru-Shal/1998
From the heart I bleed out to you, many times before you’ve answered, now you ignore me as though I’m unimportant
Though I am here to give you my, “Please talk to me!” My words bounce off of you like the falling rain
Why I feel this, I’m blanked with uncertainty
All I do know is that you hear me, but don’t reply
All I ask is, “Why Oh Why!?”
Kru-Shal/1998
Fear
What is fear?
What do I fear?
Is it that shadow over my bed?
No! It’s my clean laundry piled behind my head
What do I fear?
Is it that noise I hear in my closet?
No! It’s the dripping of the water from my fosset
Is it that old creepy house that I live near?
Could it be?
What is fear?
What do I fear?
Kru-Shal/1998
What do I fear?
Is it that shadow over my bed?
No! It’s my clean laundry piled behind my head
What do I fear?
Is it that noise I hear in my closet?
No! It’s the dripping of the water from my fosset
Is it that old creepy house that I live near?
Could it be?
What is fear?
What do I fear?
Kru-Shal/1998
Me
Who is this image standing before me
Who is this lonely soul who cries alone
Who is this person, who could you be
He has the same face the same tone
Why is it that this image speaks but words aren’t of hearing
But I mustn’t speak a word for he may know what I’m fearing
Could this image be a figment of my imagination
As I gesture to move also does he with no hesitation
Why is this image here
What does it mean
I shall speak for I have nothing to fear
I am not scared though that is how it may seem
What?! I know who you are with a feeling of glee
You aren’t a stranger; a ghost; a trick; or anything I
thought you would be
You’re the same person, you’re “ME”
Kru-Shal/1998
Who is this lonely soul who cries alone
Who is this person, who could you be
He has the same face the same tone
Why is it that this image speaks but words aren’t of hearing
But I mustn’t speak a word for he may know what I’m fearing
Could this image be a figment of my imagination
As I gesture to move also does he with no hesitation
Why is this image here
What does it mean
I shall speak for I have nothing to fear
I am not scared though that is how it may seem
What?! I know who you are with a feeling of glee
You aren’t a stranger; a ghost; a trick; or anything I
thought you would be
You’re the same person, you’re “ME”
Kru-Shal/1998
Missing You
Everyday a vision of your smile sits upon my mind
A tear rolls from my eye, an emotion falls out of place
I feel as though I’m running out of all but time
As a feel of despair falls infinite upon my face
You are no longer here this fact remains the same
I want you still this statement is true
There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t call your name
Reality always lets me know I’m missing you
Kru-Shal/1998
A tear rolls from my eye, an emotion falls out of place
I feel as though I’m running out of all but time
As a feel of despair falls infinite upon my face
You are no longer here this fact remains the same
I want you still this statement is true
There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t call your name
Reality always lets me know I’m missing you
Kru-Shal/1998
Mom
You’ve held back long enough
Time for you to spread your wings
Nothing comes free, life can be tough
You earn, materials such as cars and things
Never settle for less, always get the best
Take your time and contemplate
Scope out all the good ones and leave the rest
Be patient, but not lazy, don’t wait too late
The moment you give up, things will fall apart
Don’t be crazy, let nature take it’s course
Always protect your heart
This information I give you should prevent you from going a stray
But always remember, I’ll be here for you until my dying day
Kru-Shal/1998
Time for you to spread your wings
Nothing comes free, life can be tough
You earn, materials such as cars and things
Never settle for less, always get the best
Take your time and contemplate
Scope out all the good ones and leave the rest
Be patient, but not lazy, don’t wait too late
The moment you give up, things will fall apart
Don’t be crazy, let nature take it’s course
Always protect your heart
This information I give you should prevent you from going a stray
But always remember, I’ll be here for you until my dying day
Kru-Shal/1998
My Friend
A friend is someone you can talk to
A friend is someone who will always be there
A friend is someone loyal and true
A friend is someone who will love you and care
You are my friend and there’s no doubt
You were my friend from the start
You are a friend I couldn’t live without
You are a friend in which no one could break us apart
A constant thought of me leaving my friends behind
A constant thought that I need to stay
A constant thought that friends like you are hard to find
A constant thought that we’ll be friends no matter if we’re here or away
A friend is a friend though our time has ended before our relationship even really began
A friend is a friend, that may be true, but no friend could love me the way you do
Kru-Shal/1998
A friend is someone who will always be there
A friend is someone loyal and true
A friend is someone who will love you and care
You are my friend and there’s no doubt
You were my friend from the start
You are a friend I couldn’t live without
You are a friend in which no one could break us apart
A constant thought of me leaving my friends behind
A constant thought that I need to stay
A constant thought that friends like you are hard to find
A constant thought that we’ll be friends no matter if we’re here or away
A friend is a friend though our time has ended before our relationship even really began
A friend is a friend, that may be true, but no friend could love me the way you do
Kru-Shal/1998
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I Remember Me
Yeah I remember that look, that sly smile, the roll of the eyes, the piercing stare, that head nod even though you could care less what you are hearing
Yeah I remember that walk, that strong stomp, that brisk speed, that posture and pride
I remember that laugh, loud, infectious, exhausting, and so full of joy
I remember that cry, that pain burning the insides,that hold over allowing it to all come out
I remember those nightmares, the ones where everything ends, you see the world just destroyed while you stand there feeling terrified and helpless
I know that serious look, that concentration on trying to take in everything being said because you know it's true
What about now? Do you recognize this smile, nothing behind it, just a happiness inside
I know that walk, such confidence, such pride and humility
I know that laugh, true, full of joy, and enjoying life and what is unfolding within it
I know that cry, looking at sad movies, listening to a sad story from someone close to you
I remember those dreams, now that makes no sense at all, flying, having super powers, seeing the world fall apart but you seem to find a way to stop it
I know that serious look, though it doesn't last because as soon as you try you start to think of something so funny that was said or done you fall out making that same unforgettable laugh
I remember these things because when I was remembering those past things I so hope that one day I would change them...and I did...so can you
Just because you may feel those things from my past now in your present doesn't mean you can't feel the things I feel now
The thing you should never do if forget you
Yeah I remember that walk, that strong stomp, that brisk speed, that posture and pride
I remember that laugh, loud, infectious, exhausting, and so full of joy
I remember that cry, that pain burning the insides,that hold over allowing it to all come out
I remember those nightmares, the ones where everything ends, you see the world just destroyed while you stand there feeling terrified and helpless
I know that serious look, that concentration on trying to take in everything being said because you know it's true
What about now? Do you recognize this smile, nothing behind it, just a happiness inside
I know that walk, such confidence, such pride and humility
I know that laugh, true, full of joy, and enjoying life and what is unfolding within it
I know that cry, looking at sad movies, listening to a sad story from someone close to you
I remember those dreams, now that makes no sense at all, flying, having super powers, seeing the world fall apart but you seem to find a way to stop it
I know that serious look, though it doesn't last because as soon as you try you start to think of something so funny that was said or done you fall out making that same unforgettable laugh
I remember these things because when I was remembering those past things I so hope that one day I would change them...and I did...so can you
Just because you may feel those things from my past now in your present doesn't mean you can't feel the things I feel now
The thing you should never do if forget you
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
The Light Is Out
I use to have dreams of a life that was so much better than my reality
I would imagine having the life I chose and not the one that chose me
The older I got the more that dream became something of a crutch and less like a little boy's fantasy
When life starts to show you that the world is full of several things, but dreaming isn't one of them
You start to realize that the life you've built around your imagination hasn't really protected you from what actually goes on around you
I've made sacrifices that I may not have made if that dream was not there in my mind
No matter how dark the path that dream kept me going
I never gave up even when the outlook was bad and almost impossible
Now that I have reached yet another dead end that dream has lost the ability to keep me hoping
Now I see the truth and it isn't the bright light from the dream I've been living for several years
Reality shows you what is and makes no nevermind if you are ready for it or not
You simply have to face it, deal, and keep it moving
Love is just a part of that cycle
You meet someone, you have some things in common, if there is enough, you fall in love
What the world doesn't always offer is a security blanket when that love falls apart
When that person you have grown to know and love becomes someone you no longer recognize you tend to feel that you've been betrayed
It is so easy to become angry and even bitter because of it
The hardest part is to take what you've learned and start to find the light again
No matter how bad things became you can still find something marvelous in the journey
You can look back at that person and even your self to see that though it didn't turn out the way you'd hoped, you still have something to hold on to
Don't look at your relationship as a failure, look at your life together as a learning lesson that you both have grown from
Understand that just because the dream is gone it doesn't mean that you have to stop dreaming
You simply have the choice to grow up, turn off the light, and build your new dream from your experience
Also understand there things never really end, maybe what has ended is the mindset you both had in the beginning and what is starting is the new outlook on your life based on what was and now what you both need to carry on
I would imagine having the life I chose and not the one that chose me
The older I got the more that dream became something of a crutch and less like a little boy's fantasy
When life starts to show you that the world is full of several things, but dreaming isn't one of them
You start to realize that the life you've built around your imagination hasn't really protected you from what actually goes on around you
I've made sacrifices that I may not have made if that dream was not there in my mind
No matter how dark the path that dream kept me going
I never gave up even when the outlook was bad and almost impossible
Now that I have reached yet another dead end that dream has lost the ability to keep me hoping
Now I see the truth and it isn't the bright light from the dream I've been living for several years
Reality shows you what is and makes no nevermind if you are ready for it or not
You simply have to face it, deal, and keep it moving
Love is just a part of that cycle
You meet someone, you have some things in common, if there is enough, you fall in love
What the world doesn't always offer is a security blanket when that love falls apart
When that person you have grown to know and love becomes someone you no longer recognize you tend to feel that you've been betrayed
It is so easy to become angry and even bitter because of it
The hardest part is to take what you've learned and start to find the light again
No matter how bad things became you can still find something marvelous in the journey
You can look back at that person and even your self to see that though it didn't turn out the way you'd hoped, you still have something to hold on to
Don't look at your relationship as a failure, look at your life together as a learning lesson that you both have grown from
Understand that just because the dream is gone it doesn't mean that you have to stop dreaming
You simply have the choice to grow up, turn off the light, and build your new dream from your experience
Also understand there things never really end, maybe what has ended is the mindset you both had in the beginning and what is starting is the new outlook on your life based on what was and now what you both need to carry on
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Seasons Change
We all have our favorite times of the year, there are those times when it’s sunny, beautiful flowers are blooming all around, birds chirping, butterflies are everywhere, there is life that doesn’t exist until this season.
Then there is the time of year when it rains, leaves change colors, the weather is warm, cool, and forever fluctuating but the color schemes make for a wonderful walk through the park.
There is the time of year when it’s so hot that you can never get cool, no matter what you do the heat just breaks through. It’s time to pull out the pool in the backyard, purchase ice pops for the kids, or take a trip to the beach.
When it comes to life, we also experience a change in season. In a beginning of a relationship where everything is new, feels new, is exciting to enter into the unknown, learning new things about that person or yourself.
The next season things are still pretty exciting, what in the beginning was new is now understood, expected, and at times predictable. Ways are forming; habits are becoming more and more intertwined.
The season after that there is this need to add things, take things away, compromise on things, being surprised with changes, expectations increase, disagreements are formed, attitudes are becoming more and more difficult to agree.
Seasons are different; people all have a love for one or more of the season changes, so in relationships and life that still applies, we as people like what we like and for whatever reason. We can do without this, that or the other.
There is so many different sayings, but this is one that I have understood for quite some time, “People come into your life for a season or a lifetime, the part that seems to disrupt that belief is that we take certain things from a seasonal relationship and try to say we can deal with it and try to build a lifetime, the fault lies with people that accept things that deep in their heart they know they cannot.
We accept patterns and beliefs that are expected from others when deep inside they do not sit well with us. The person being them becomes more and more predictable with their habits, likes, dislikes, and beliefs. While that is happening the one that constantly makes compromises will become less and less connected to their partner.
You will lose your shine if you live away from what makes you who you are. Your partner lives their way and only understands what makes them happy while you compromise, lie to them and yourself. So when you hear people say we just grew apart pay attention to whom actually makes that evaluation. Is it the person that stayed true to who they are? Or was it the one that constantly gave up what they wanted to act like they were happy with the changes that came?
Then there is the time of year when it rains, leaves change colors, the weather is warm, cool, and forever fluctuating but the color schemes make for a wonderful walk through the park.
There is the time of year when it’s so hot that you can never get cool, no matter what you do the heat just breaks through. It’s time to pull out the pool in the backyard, purchase ice pops for the kids, or take a trip to the beach.
When it comes to life, we also experience a change in season. In a beginning of a relationship where everything is new, feels new, is exciting to enter into the unknown, learning new things about that person or yourself.
The next season things are still pretty exciting, what in the beginning was new is now understood, expected, and at times predictable. Ways are forming; habits are becoming more and more intertwined.
The season after that there is this need to add things, take things away, compromise on things, being surprised with changes, expectations increase, disagreements are formed, attitudes are becoming more and more difficult to agree.
Seasons are different; people all have a love for one or more of the season changes, so in relationships and life that still applies, we as people like what we like and for whatever reason. We can do without this, that or the other.
There is so many different sayings, but this is one that I have understood for quite some time, “People come into your life for a season or a lifetime, the part that seems to disrupt that belief is that we take certain things from a seasonal relationship and try to say we can deal with it and try to build a lifetime, the fault lies with people that accept things that deep in their heart they know they cannot.
We accept patterns and beliefs that are expected from others when deep inside they do not sit well with us. The person being them becomes more and more predictable with their habits, likes, dislikes, and beliefs. While that is happening the one that constantly makes compromises will become less and less connected to their partner.
You will lose your shine if you live away from what makes you who you are. Your partner lives their way and only understands what makes them happy while you compromise, lie to them and yourself. So when you hear people say we just grew apart pay attention to whom actually makes that evaluation. Is it the person that stayed true to who they are? Or was it the one that constantly gave up what they wanted to act like they were happy with the changes that came?
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