The Balance

The one thing that I have learned in my life is that there is a balance in the universe
There are people that are meant to be evil, there are people that are meant to be good, and there are people that contain both good and evil traits
Evil will do whatever they can to destroy a good person’s spirit
Good people struggle through life trying to understand why evil people are the way they are
The problem with this is that when good people try to understand evil and evil pretend to be good it destroys the balance
The best way to live is to accept who you are and accept who they are
The need to figure out someone’s evil intentions is pointless and it takes away from your blessings
Evil people will be who they are for the rest of their life
Good people live better when they give up the fight and allow things to flow naturally
The people that have both traits can turn on the evil when necessary
To turn on the evil could mean to protect you or stand up for yourself
They do, however, understand the balance better and realize what is better for them
So stop trying to change people
Focus, accept, and love yourself then life will open its doors for you to succeed

A True Friend

Dear Friend,

How are you doing today
After our conversation I just couldn't let you walk away
Without telling you how sorry I am that you felt the pain you feel
That all this time you thought you were in love and it wasn't real
I'm sorry he hit you and didn't care enough to stop
I'm sorry that he cheated on you and gave into his manhood and wasn't the loyal guy you thought
I wanted to say so badly that you should leave over and over again
Though when you would speak ill of him you would also say you didn't want this to end
I was chained to my loyalty to you and it left me speechless
Even though the life you were living with him was truly a mess
I love you enough to risk you becoming mad with me for telling you the truth
I feel you were a fool to stay in a life where it was right in front of you and no need to search for proof
He never cared about you because he knew you would never leave
He used you up because it was easy and he did whatever he pleased
It was a dance where he lead you and were pushed around
He won you over because he made you feel less of yourself by always putting you down
The fights all night and the love making during the day
Those were his ways of taking your pain away
Yet you gave into him to easily that it didn't mean a thing to him at all
He knew that all he had to say was he loved you and once again you would fall
I confronted him and told him that he should leave you alone
He said that even if he wanted to leave you would follow him like a dog with a bone
Before I knew it I struck him through all of my pain
As I landed each strike I felt your honor being regained
When I snapped out of my daze he lay there bloody and bruised
I made him promise to leave you even though he wanted to refuse
That's why he's gone from you life forever
If you can forgive me, I'll remain your friend and aide you through the stormy weather
Because in the end it's true friendship that keeps your heart together

The Nameless Lady

I see her everyday walking across the street
She seems to have music in her ears because she smiles and walks in rhythm
When she passes strangers she speaks and welcomes them as if she’s known them her entire life
I don’t know her story, whether she is someone’s mother, sister, friend, or wife
All I know is that when she passes me by my heart skips a beat
It’s not due to attraction it’s just this energy that she keeps
She carries the sun with her as she does her glow
I can’t help but admire this work of art
She generates a respect that is instant and not demanded
She is beauty and grace; no one can deny that she is there
If you see her you feel the joy of a mother’s baby
So much power in her presence….
This nameless lady

The Mother

She reads us bedtime stories which builds our imagination
She holds us in her arms to protect us from the devastation
Even if we don’t know her she gives us wisdom and guidance
It’s because of her presence we learn respect, hard work, and diligence
She is what we all need to live out a wholesome life
She isn’t just a mother; she is a daughter, and a wife
It’s this angelic soul that secures our legacy
It’s her influence, tolerance, and empathy
When GOD created her he meant to give her all of these qualities and more
For he knew in what the world had in store
So learn to respect her better as she has taught us to respect each other
She may be a stranger to you, but to someone else she is the Mother

A Woman's Honor

It’s almost impossible to put into words the power of a woman
How can you label such a gift from GOD?
They say that they were created from the rib of a man
Yet they are the power of a man’s heart
They are the strength that keeps the world together
They are the glue that ties bloodlines forever
They are the Queens of the throne
They are the comfort of a child’s home
They protect us when the world is cold
They are courageous, strong, and bold
To truly honor a woman, words can’t do the task
If you want to honor a woman, you walk up to one and just ask

My New Home

There is a door, wooden, old, and hanging off the henges
The walkway is rocky with patches of grassing struggling to get through
The fence surrounding the house is hanging on for dear life as it shelters the grounds
The windows are frosted from the cold breeze that teases it with each brush it gives
When the door opens it gives this creeking sound as if it has a limited time left before it lets go
Walking on the floor boards they sing with different levels of sound matching each step
There is dust on the light fixtures, so strong that it seems it was painted on
The sound of the emptiness is relaxing and calming though it cries for life
The kitchen vibrates from the life of others that lived there before
The refrigerator light flickers with the opening of the door
The air is dry yet it's cool and refreshing
The cabinets are sturdy and drenched with wallpaper dressing
The main bedroom is dark yet cozy and quaint
The closet in the room seems endless, dark, and dank
The light above the room barely sheds light into the room at all
As you open the blinds you are covered with the dust that begins to fall
Walking down the hallway you rub your hands against the walls to get a feel for the space
Looking into the smaller rooms your mind begins to race
What will I put here, how will I decorate that
The heat in the house is so strong that you remove your hat
At that time you feel as if you've been here before
The sounds that your ears gather begs you to explore
You walk out the back door and look over the house one more time
As you look at the roof you are blinded by the sun's shine
A connection has been formed and you feel like this is where you are meant to be
Though it needs work, your imagination still runs free
It feels right that you sign your name away and claim this space to roam
It might be a fixer upper, but it's still my new home

In My Way

He reaches into me as if he's God ripping my soul from my body
He taunts constantly and tempts my urge to feel naughty
He knows my darkest secrets even though my lips are shut
He never lets me forget my wrongs
His judgement feels like knives in my gut
I stand in the mirror and he stares back
I try to move before he does but I'm too slow to fight off his attack
It drives me crazy with how much power he has over me
As hard as I fight through the damamged grounds I just can't break free
My dreams are up for display and I can't hide my true nature
The lust, the rage, the need for attention, the constant taste for the rapture
Though I know there is more to me than these negative needs
Some how he knows how to fuel me and pour over my greed
It's a dance that never stops and yet the rhythm always remain the same
It annoys me over and over again, yet he enjoys our little mind games
He laughs in the face of danger where I fear what may become
I stand for honesty, trust, quality, all the things that he finds dumb
Though he remains in my brain I know he will never leave
Just because he exists, doesn't mean that I owe him the possibility that I believe
I can live without his influence, his constant judgement over how I live day to day
He is my dark side and he will always be in my way

When To Walk Away

It's been a chore to find friends
When you meet people they tell you a story that captivates you and you feel like you have found a good person to connect with
As you get to know them they make you feel like they truly are moved by you and want to further the friendship
As you dig deeper into their life you start realizing that the stories that they have shared with you don't match up to the facts that you find out later
Then you start finding out their true intentions towards you
People tell you all the time that they want friends when in actuality they want a cut buddy
For those of you that don't know the meaning "cut buddy" that is someone you call a friend but have sex with on occassions
The saddest part is when they say that they are in relationships yet they are trying to get with you sexually
At what point do we treat our relationships like real relationships
We are stereotyped all the time
We are seen as a bunch of sex crazed men that just want to hump the next available guy
No one really believes that gay relationships last because of that opinion
The sad truth is that there are so many men out there that live up to the stereotype
Don't get me wrong sex is great, but it's even greater when you are with someone that you love and you can see yourself with for the rest of your life
When you allow yourself to get over the fear of being alone you can find that special someone to love
You hear all the time that guys tell you that they just love sleeping around
Dig deeper into their story and you will find there is more to it than that
Someone that sleeps around a lot isn't always a slut
There is something missing in their life and they try to fill it with casual sex
To get that gratification from someone makes them feel happy
Then the realization of them leaving them kicks in and they run to the next guy
Before they know it they have slept with just about every man in the state to run away from their fear of being hurt and alone
We as gay men should take the time to understand the men we come in contact with
If we are truly looking for true love then why settle for a sexual encounter with someone you know won't be there tomorrow
Know when to step back and review what you are in
Know when to ask the right questions and when to question a statement that seems untrue
Better yet, know when to walk away
You'll save yourself a lifetime of hurt and pain by following your instinct and not your sexual hunger

Venting It Out

There are times when you feel like things just seem out of whack
You feel like you can't get your thoughts together long enough to understand what's happening in your brain
In those times you want to be alone and away from it all
It's hard to voice how you feel because there are times when you don't know yourself
We label it in many different ways, but it's that the mind is trying to process things, but us being human we try to rush to a conclusion which leads to us making bad decisions
It's good to let feelings out and give the heart a chance to catch up with the mind
When you ignore the signs of those changes is when you could possibly destroy what you have in your life
It's not really blaming people or blaming circumstances, it's just a process that you have to work through on your own
Once you get a better understanding of where you are, then you can welcome someone in to share your findings
Back up from your life and review what's happening
There are times when it could be something simple that you have overlooked
There could be moments that contain the answer to the unanswered questions
By all means express those to that special person in your life
You may not know the answers, but that's all right, at least let them know that you are working through something
It's not necessary to always have the answers at your disposal
The appreication will be given to you if you are honest about your place in life at that moment
If you have a love, friends, or family that truly understand you they will respect your wish to give you that space and time to come back to them

When It Feels Like New

In relationships you have those moments when you feel like this is so hard to deal with
There are obstacles that you face time and time again that will test you faith and strength as a lover
It's in the eye of the darkest times when you figure out if you are truly relationship material or not
These tests are not just tests about you, it's a test about the one you have chosen as well
Some times we question our ability to be in a life long relationship, where in fact, the one that we have chosen isn't the right one to open that door
The moment you have fallen in love with your soul mate, things change in such a way you cannot explain your feelings
You find yourself always looking at them and falling in love all over again
They are the only people in the world that truly understands you
They are the only person you think about when your day is going bad or when you are having a great day
It's that excitement you feel when they have been away from your presence and they are on their way back
It's those stolen kisses that you have when no one is looking
It's experiencing new places to see together
It's creating a routine that only you and your love know and look forward to
It's moments when you touch and it feels like the very first time
It's just letting go and showing them the real you
Allowing that to happen is when it feels like new

Believe It Or Not

When people tell us that we are hard to deal with, maybe it's some truth to that
We tend to think that we were cut from the cloth of holiness and our words are golden and that we just can do no wrong
When you find yourself telling people that every experience you've had with friends ended on a bad note, maybe you need to re-evaluate yourself. One person is understandable, two people is possible, but with every person you've come in contact with can't stand you after getting to know you then Boo Boo the light is shining on you and not them

I can't tell you how many people I've heard state to me that they are great friends but they just keep meeting people that use them or stab them in the back. There aren't too many people in existence that is that loyal, angelic, and honest. A saying my mother use to tell me is,

"I've been stabbed in the back so many times by people, I can't even wear an open back dress!"

There are people that live for drama and just want to be told that they are good and righteous. The sad part is that they are blind to the truth that they are not good people and that they cannot be trusted.

The thing I pride myself in is knowing my flaws and praying to God for the patience and understanding as to fix them and work on them. Changing is never overnight, it is a life long process. So don't fool yourself in believing that it's easy to be one way today and another way tomorrow. The only people that change with the wind are people on medication!

Friendships are special and family-like, so if you truly want to have people that close to you in your life, then stop lying to yourself and be more forthcoming, then and only then will people come to you and accept you for your flaws and all!

No One Wants Me

I had a very interesting conversation with a long distant friend. While talking they just yelled out that no one wanted them. It took me by surprise and then the therapist in me kicked in.

To make an assumption that strong says a lot about how you feel about yourself. He wasn't the first person to say this to me. To even assume that you've met every person in the world is such a joke.

Both people have different issues. The one that stated this to me on the phone is so desperate for love that he will give the first person that shows him attention anything they want. You can never buy someone's affection because as soon as they get what they want they are done with you. The reason being, is that when you start a relationship built around monetary value you have ended any chance for true emotion to take place. People feed off of what you give them. If you approach them with your arms full of gifts, then that's all they see. You have covered your heart with the packages in your arm and you can't blame them for wanting what you give them.

The other person said this to me in a text message. He has a picture of his self half naked with a mask on his face. How do you expect people to see past sex when that's what you are displaying for the world to see. A hoe can never become a lover because a hoe lives for the lust and not the love. When a man views your picture he doesn't see that you have honest eyes, kissable lips, and an innocent smile, he can only see that you have a bulge in your underwear, a nice ass, and lips that could suck the seed out of a grape through a wooden fence.

People love is simple, but we make it difficult. It is up to you how you want someone special to enter your life. You control your destiny and it is in that destiny where you get what you give.

When you state that no one wants you, then when you don't find anyone you get upset, well you only have yourself to blame because the energy that you placed into the universe is pushing potential love interests away and now you're confused as to why no one wants you for the reasons you want them.

Sex is a part of life, but it shouldn't be the leading reason for a connection and it shouldn't be confused for love and affection.

Gifts are a part of a relationship, but it should never be the first thing presented to someone you barely know. It marks the nature of the relationship and that's all you will ever be in that relationship, a gift giver.

Stop tripping over your own feet and start sweeping the dirt that you have covered over your true path in life. It's when we start living for ourselves in our true place in the world that we find the person that we are meant to be with!

Live life and love strong people!