The Strength We Need

I believe that we all have the ability to tap into the strength inside of us
It just seems for most it takes a little longer to find it
That doesn't imply that it isn't there
Our lives are unpredictable and we never really know the path in front of us
Some times our lives show us what we need to see but we are too lost in our present that we don't capture the images
Some times we are so lost in our own drama that we ignore the solution to the problems that we face on a daily basis
Or there are people in our lives that step up and try to protect us before we have a chance to defend ourselves
We can some times rely on those people so much that we forget that we can be strong on our own
Or we love the fact that those people are there and it feels good not to worry about us for a change
Either way it changes the life process
It makes us at times become dependent and we lose our identity in this move
It may work for some but it doesn't work for everyone
It's funny when it comes down to it and you realize that you can and have to carry yourself
The funny part is that you may not have to search very hard to find it
It could be that you just got so caught up with being taken care of that you forgot that you could take care of yourself
It's not a bad thing to allow people to step in and help us in our time of need
The bad part becomes when we no longer want to do it for ourselves and get angry when people don't drop what's going on in their lives to help us out of our own mess
Never take people for granted because when they are gone you find yourself more alone than you may have planned
It's always a great thing to show people what you are capable of doing for yourself
That way the right person will come into your life at the right point and time
Always look within before you look out for the strength you need

Darkest Feelings

I believe that to everyone there is a dark side.
In our lives at times we are concerned about what people think of us so when it comes to sharing everything about our feelings we brighten up what we say.
In our minds there are thoughts that form and we tend to scare our selves at times with what we see.
We are told that those thoughts are wrong and shouldn't be in your head.
I laugh at that because anyone that thinks knows and understands that your brain is powerful and it is difficult to shut it off even when we try not to think of anything at all.
We meet people that we dislike and automatically we start feeling like we could do things to them because what we may have said or done didn't seem to do the trick, the person still has offended us in some way.
The nicest of people can have the darkest of feelings.
We look at people such as Bishop Eddie Long and because he has the title he does, majority of people think he is above those dark feelings.
They just can't get the idea around their head that he could actually have those emotions, those sinister ambitions, and that he would actually live them out.
It's when we accept that other part of us that we grab a hold to our personality.
I accept that I can be light and dark
I accept that I can be happy and sad
I accept that I can be good and bad
Having those multiple dimensions makes us all unique in our own way
Just because it feels bad doesn't mean you are bad
The world is separated by those different feelings
Think about, someone gets on your nerves so bad you imagine putting your hands around their neck and not letting go until they are lifeless
You don't because you care about what would happen afterwards
There is another person that thinks about doing the exact same thing, but does it and doesn't care about the afterwards
Then there is a person that was so pushed to their limit that they did the exact same thing but regrets doing it and is damaged for life
Never think that you are above darkness
Never think that you are too low for the light
Accept being human and keep it moving

What Next

Today as I sit in a training room learning another job and walking towards another completed goal I stop and ask myself, "What's next?"
My entire life has been about accomplishing, reaching goals, completeing the next task, and writing more down to keep me going.
In life we tend to just go with the flow, but I've found that to be a blind way to live. I would like to believe that our destiny is at our own hands because to believe that what we do is expected and already set in motion makes us zombies living a life for someone else and not ourselves.
My first reaction to this new chapter in my life was to say no thank you and wait for something that I know I really wanted, but I felt that I would be doing what came typical to me when I wasn't interested.
I decided to change up the game and walk the walk before complaining about the journey.
So often we tend to stick to what we know and then look confused when we are limited to what we can do.
How do you know what your limits are if you always stay the same?
How do you know what else you could learn if you are afraid to try?
How do you know that your life is so horrible when you refuse to make a sacrifice?
As a child I moved away from home and set out on a journey to find me and to live free from the shakles of what existed around me.
Being compared to other members of my family made me feel like I didn't have an identity of my own.
When I got a taste of the real world and finally understood my own make up and mental stability I learned so much about myself and realized that I had so much more to learn.
I realized that I never truly had a childhood and there was so much I missed out on because I wanted to grow up so fast.
Now in my mid-30's I feel like I'm a teenager all over again.
I want to take chances, I want to make sacrifices, I want to test the waters, and I want to walk a different walk to see where it will carry me.
Throughout the many years of my adult life I never really knew what love was until now. I never imagined that I could find someone that would love me to the level I felt I was.
Now it's a list with very strong check marks.
Marking off everything I thought I could and couldn't do.
The list has changed over time, yet it still remains minimal.
I feel well accomplished to just be 35 years old, I have lived a life that people in their 80's could sit and tell their grandchildren.
I now know that because that life is yours, you can make a move or you can stand still and watch the world move right along without you.
I choose to be a mover and someone that never looks back in regret.
So now that I am ready for another experience I check off the list containing the question, "What's Next?"

Tony Terry - With You

Tony Terry - Everlasting Love