Was I Wrong

In the beginning of love it is always that feeling of total bliss
Everything they say to you makes your stomach dance in excitement
Everything they do for you makes you happy and you mark those moments down so that you can always remember them when the day repeats on the next year
You find yourself making everything a anniversary because it was something new that you never had before
You start planning your future and all of the things you would like to do
You start making your plans for the future place you will live
You start picking out songs that will remind you of special moments

Some times when you are so caught up in the future plans you don't notice what's actually happening in your relationship
Some times the alarms are going off but you are so in la la land you don't pay attention to them
Their flaws seem like minor scratches on the surface, in your heart you feel that there is something deeper inside trying to get out
So you allow those flaws to remain

Before you know it you are chaning yourself to fit their place in life
You stop planning the things you set up for yourself because you want to see them shine brigther than ever
You stop hanging out in the places you use to frequent because you want to spend all of your time with them
You cut off those people in your life that you use to talk to all the time for fear of disrespecting the one you are with now

The changes are often and you don't really see them until you hit a road block
It's that road block that snaps you out of the fantasy
When you're eyes are completely open you start recognizing things in them that you don't like
You start figuring out where you fell short of your life and your plans for them
It's in the moment of a dead end you realize that you have reached the limit and you have no one but yourself to blame

Relationships aren't a waste of time, it is certain people that waste your time
When you start remembering how special you are and how original you are, you start to view that person in their actual light

Then those flaws become holes instead of scratches
Those little things that didn't bother you before annoy the hell out of you all the time
What you thought they had deep inside was just wishful thinking and you have created this hero out of nothing

Instead of totally loosing your perspective, you stop and rethink where you are and how you got there
You start taking back your time and replanning your future

The ideas that you had for the both of you may change and that's fine
Because as you change and they stay the same, it's obvious that they weren't right for you in the first place

You may ask yourself, "Was I wrong?" the answer is not really that cut and dry
It's never wrong to want the best for someone
It's never wrong to support someone
It's never wrong to give someone your time and attention
It's never wrong to want a beautiful future with a special someone

What is wrong is when they know they aren't right for you, yet they just tag along for the ride

What Remains

Though the path ahead seems unsure there is still a glimmer of light that shines up ahead
You aren't sure where it will lead but you know there is no need to turn back now after all that you've given up to take this journey
You decide to pack light because the distance is unknown, there is no telling what you'll pick up while you travel, and there's no need to pack unecessary items that would just hold you from walking in full stride
So you sit your back pack down and take out doubt, uncertainty, jealousy, fear, envy, regret,denial,arrogance,selfishness,anger,sadness,depression,dishonesty, and shame
When you look in the bottom of the pack there is just hope that remains
After all of your life you still have held on to hope
Through all the bad experiences, the many let downs, the people that hurt you, the people that left you, the people that were taken from you, the broken promises, and the crushed dreams you still believe that there is something still there for you
You have this glimmer of light in your heart and that is the light you see in your path
It's what's kept you on the road to the unknown
When all else fails you, hope never waivers, it never gives up, it never lets you down, it won't back down from the obstacles that life throws your way
It is a true believer, and it always has it's eyes on the ending of the storm
Why? Because hope is what keeps you alive, it is the defining emotion that builds you through all of your stresses, through all of your falls, and disappointments
If you take the time to reflect on you, shed off all of the uneccessary emotions that just bog you down, you will realize what remains

As Time Goes On

Though it's been a while you still relive the experience over and over
You find that your days seem to fly by just to reach a certain time where it all hits your heart
Getting through everyday feels like a task that you have mastered and the times you want to just let it all go makes you feel like you're giving up
You start feeling obligated to hold on to the pain because it seems like that's the only way you can feel their presence
It's an obstacle that doesn't get more difficult, it just starts to become more obvious as to what is coming next
When people are taken from your life it takes a piece of your heart away
You feel less and less like your self at times
You feel stronger today and then weaker tomorrow
You feel like sleeping forever and then you feel like running through the day with your hands waved and the sun beaming on your skin
You feel like withdrawing from everyone and then you feel like embracing and cherishing those that are still around you
It feels like a game that has no means of winning or losing, it's just a matter of learning from each experience
You start to realize that this cycle of life is never changing, but the people involved all walk away from it with something different
You take the good and bad to make it a part of your life because it doesn't matter if you like it or not, it is a part of your life
So in the long run you wear these feelings, these experiences on your body like a patch of clothing
It becomes your personality and you find out that they are there to help you help others and to better understand life its self
You become a person that understands the many questions of life and become a source of strength and knowledge
You find out all of these things if you stay on the path and keep an understanding
It doesn't happen overnight, it comes to you as time goes on

It's The Little Things

Just the way you look at me
Just the way you walk up to me and hug me
Just the way you kiss me for no reason at all
Just for the cards, letters, post it notes that you leave for me
Just the way you hold my hand
Just the way you listen to everything I say

Since the day I clicked "Match" on TAGGED
Since the moment I clicked "Accept" for a friendship
Since the moment I responded to your message
Since the moment I gave you my number
Since the moment I took the drive to see you that Saturday
Since the first time we made love

Because you told me you loved me
Because you tell me everyday how important I am to you
Because you think of us and not just you
Because you are always there for me
Because you want nothing but the best for me
Because you have future plans that match my future plans

Why would I ever doubt your love for me
Why would I ever feel down about my life
Why would I ever question the blessings that we've received
Why would I wonder about our future
Why would I be surprised by the beautiful things you do for me
Why would I care about the outside world when I have you

You were made for me and I was made for you. We were both born to meet, love, build together, hold one another, bring love into the world with a force unstoppable by negativity and harmful wishes from those that want nothing more than to break us apart.

There is a thing called soulmate and you are that for me. Throughout my life I have prayed for one question to be answered:

"Will I ever fall in love with the perfect man for me?

Since the day that I met you I am not sure about my life because for that entire time before you my biggest goal was to find a love that could heal my heart, build up my strength, empower my courage, open my eyes, ears, and heart to the possibilities of living a dream.

You may fall in love with me everyday, but I have loved you my entire life. There are years that remain to make up for the time I wasn't with you, but even in the after life we will remain together because the bounds of Earth can't sustain a love this powerful and genuine.

I welcome you in my soul and all the emotions that it brings, it's not just because you say you love me I feel my life changing, it's the little things.