How I Became Me Chapter 9

Barely two years with Henry I was packing my bags and doing a “Tina Turner Move!” This move was something I created years back. A Tina Turner Move is when you grab whatever is handy and you haul ass out the door never to return. The first documented Tina Turner Move was done by Rick when he found out that James was sleeping around behind his back. One day after suspecting that something was off about their relationship Rick went to work as scheduled, but this particular time he forgot to grab his wallet which wasn’t like Rick at all. So he got off the bus and walked back to the apartment he shared with James. Mind you, this was about a time frame of 8:30AM to 8:45AM. When Rick walked in the apartment he noticed a book bag sitting on the couch. Rick walked into their bedroom and right in front of his eyes he saw James with a younger male having sex. Rick told me that he was so shocked that he just closed the door, grabbed his wallet, and went to work. He tried to work a full shift and wait to tell me what happened but he was too emotional so two of his female friends/co-workers took him back home. Rick called me and instantly I knew what was wrong. It was that damned twin sense again; I didn’t need him to tell me anything. I left work early, hopped on the train and made it to the apartment. Chloe and Pam were already taking Rick’s stuff to Pam’s truck. When they saw me they ran up to me and told me to calm down before I walk in because James came back home while they were packing up Rick’s stuff. I had a reputation of going off and protecting my family. Most people exaggerated about my temper so it was said that I was the wrong person to make angry. I walked in and my entire body became tense and I could feel sweat forming on my nose. When I was a child I would have nose bleeds when I got angry, before this day the last time I had a nose bleed was when I was 10, here I am 19 and I am digging in my pocket for a tissue. James looked up and realized it was me and then he just put his head down like a child seeing their parent walk towards them as they sit outside the principal’s office. I walked right on into my brother’s room and saw him sitting on the floor with all of his belongings neatly stacked, packed, and ready to go. When Rick or I would get upset the other would make jokes to soften our hurt. So when I walked in I said, “Damn! You doing a Tina Turner Move! Though I could tell Rick was in severe heartbreak he still managed to laugh through it. At that moment I helped him up and told him that we were getting him out tonight and we weren’t coming back. Down to the last items of Rick’s I noticed that James was watching a movie on Rick’s VCR. I went to unhook it and James said to me, “He can come back tomorrow and get this.” I said with a smile, “Fuck you and Rick, how do I unhook this VCR!” Rick ran in and grabbed me and pulled me outside. Chloe and Pam held both of my arms and told me to calm down and don’t hurt James. They still wanted my brother to leave with his dignity and not to cause anymore frustration. I quickly calmed down and grabbed everything else. Unpacking my belongings in my new home which was an apartment I shared with my brother Dennis, I ran across a picture of Henry. I didn’t realize that I still had anything that would remind me of him. Looking at his picture with that smile that made my heart melt sent me back to the night I met him and how quickly I fell in love with him. The weekend I went to Atlanta with Lenny was a great escape. The trial was over and things seemed to be getting back to normal. Everyone was doing their own thing but no one was around me at all. I found myself sitting at home with nothing to do. So when Lenny showed up at my sister Tammy’s house it felt like GOD his self sent me a way to get out. Lenny was looking for Tammy to ride with him since he had to go to Atlanta, I asked him if I could tag along and he said yes. It felt so great to be back in Atlanta. Lenny worked at the Hotel Inn so any state that had one gave him the perks of getting a free room. Once we got there Lenny stepped out and came back with a young guy that he was dating. The young guy was named Brad. He was tall and very young compared to Lenny who was knocking on his mid 40’s. We sat in the room and talked a bit about what we planned on doing for the weekend. I asked Lenny about the clubs and Lenny advised that we check out a club called Loretta’s. I was excited and so ready to shake off this darkness I’d lived in for so long. So we got dressed and drove downtown and parked in the lot across from the club. When we walked in the music was great and there were so many people. I went to clubs here and there but nothing like this. I was a little nervous coming out because this would be my first time out alone without a bunch of straight people. The men were wall to wall and they were so sexy. I felt that I’d found paradise and it was so hard to focus on one at a time because as soon as you focused on one, another one would walk by and before you knew it your eyes were dancing. We walked around the club so that I could check it out from downstairs to upstairs. It was a 3 level club and each level played different music. We went upstairs where the slower jazzier music played so you could sit, order food, and talk. I ordered some wings and got a margarita to loosen up a bit. After my second glass I was ready to go back downstairs to dance. When I got to the dance floor my attention was immediately drawn to this brown skinned man with a full beard and mustache. He wore a flannel shirt with jeans and dress shoes. He was a cross between rugged and clean cut which was a complicated but very attractive quality I loved in a man back then. Lenny noticed that I was staring at him and without notice he walked to him and started talking to him. I thought he was cock blocking me but before I could get upset Lenny walked back over and told me that the guy’s name was Henry, he was single, and he would like to dance with me. I was so nervous and excited at the same time. I walked over and he firmly grabbed my hand and said, “You didn’t need to send your friend over, I noticed you when you walked in. I would have talked to you if I knew that neither one of them was with you”. So needless to say we connected and I just fell head over heels in love with Henry. The night turned out to be a disaster because my brother Rick showed up at the club. When I got to Atlanta I hadn’t called anyone. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be there that long. When Rick saw me he hugged me and then chastised me for not calling him when I got there. Then he got on me about hanging with Lenny because Lenny had bad blood between Rick and our other sister Peggy. Apparently this went back to Elementary school and never changed. Once Rick noticed that I was with Henry he grilled Henry and threatened him that if anything happened to me he would find him and kill him. Rick then turned to Lenny and Brad, he told them that I’d better head straight back to the room after leaving the club and if he finds out that I went home with Henry he would track them down and kill them to. It was funny but I don’t really think that they understood how serious he was about it. Rick was as protective of me as Jake was, the difference is Jake would have probably already knocked Henry out for having his arm around me. After surviving the embarrassment, the club was closed and we all walked outside. Rick walked out with us and told me to go straight to the room and told me to call once I’m there so he could see the caller identification showing the hotel I was staying at. We hugged and kissed, then said good night to one another. Henry looked very disappointed that Rick told me not to go with him. He gave me a long hug and then handed me his contact information. I felt a sadness come over me as I walked to the car with Lenny and Brad. Once we started driving off I remembered hearing one of Henry’s friends say that they were going to the Marquette. I asked Lenny to check the club out. Lenny looked at me and asked if I was sure I wanted to go there since my brother was clear that he wanted me to go back to the room. I told him that I had to see if the way Henry and I connected was real or was I just a nice piece of ass he wanted for the night. So we drove to the Marquette and parked across the street from the main parking lot. I told Lenny and Brad not to get out until I saw Henry walk in. Once he passed our car and went into the club we followed. My plan was a simple one; I would walk in and find where Henry was. After spotting him I would make my move by walking in his direction to see if he would recognize me and acknowledge me. As I approached where I saw him walking, this sexy brother walked up and asked me to dance. He had no shirt on, he was wearing at least 3 thick gold chains, his body was cut and he was all that and a bowl of cereal. I almost forgot the reason I came there because he was talking in my ear and his lips were so soft, he made my entire body hot by just whispering in my ear. Once I got myself together, I asked him to excuse me. I walked right to the bar where I saw that Henry was headed. As soon as our eyes met Henry grabbed me and lifted me in the air and twirled me around like he just saw his long lost child. It was cute and I felt like I was in a romantic movie. I was very romantic for my age and everything to me played out like a novel. We danced, talked, and kissed all night until Lenny came and said they were ready to leave. Henry asked if he could come to our room with us and I said yes. When we got back to the room I called Rick and told him I was in the room and about to go to bed. Rick said he loved me and for me to call him once I got back to Aiken. The next morning we were getting ready to leave and I could feel this sadness resurfacing. I really did not want to leave. Henry asked us to come over to his place so he could cook us dinner before we left. We went to Henry’s house and hung out in his bedroom watching television while he cooked for us. Once the food was ready we went into the living room and ate. We talked and joked while we sat and let our food digest. After we were done Lenny said that he was going to run Brad home and asked would I be all right to wait with Henry. I said yes and Lenny along with Brad told Henry good-bye. Once they left I got nervous and excited because I was finally alone with him and I didn’t know the first thing about starting the whole making out thing. Henry grabbed my hand and guided me into his bedroom. He slowly undressed me and started to passionately kiss me. This feeling was unlike any I’d had before this moment and I couldn’t imagine feeling anything else. We made love and it was wonderful. Afterwards we showered and I lay in his arms waiting for Lenny to come back to take me to Aiken. As we were leaving Henry kissed me and held me very tight. I could feel his emotions through his touch. I had mentioned to him earlier about the murder trial and the things I was experiencing. Henry told me if I decided to move back to Atlanta I could stay with him because he couldn’t imagine having me back in Aiken and not being able to see me and at the same time worrying about my safety. When I got back to Aiken it just seemed like I wasn’t there at all. It felt like I was visiting and not actually living there. I fell deeply in love for the first time and I couldn’t imagine being so far away from Henry. For almost over a month we talked every single day. Henry called me when he woke up, brushed his teeth, sat on the toilet, got dressed, walked to the bus stop, riding the bus, getting on the train, on the train, when he got to work, and when he had breaks, etc. I was so impressed with the way he was towards me. I wanted to leave more and more. Finally I made up my mind and told him I was moving back and I wanted to be with him. So I called Lenny on that Tuesday and that following Friday I was saying good-bye to my family. I was working at Apple Bee’s in Aiken but it was nothing like the one in Atlanta. I did however form some great friendships, but none of that mattered when I fell in love with Henry, so as Aiken became further and further away from my view I knew in my heart that moving back to Aiken was not in the cards for me. The first couple of months were wonderful and I was smiling and happy all the time. Suddenly things changed from great to hell. There was moments when he kept things from me, there were phone calls from his ex telling him that he would get the home phone in his name, there were phone calls when Henry would tell his parents that I was just a roommate and that he was dating a woman at his job, then it got to the point where he was telling me what I was going to do and not what I wanted to do. Our breakup was by far the most devastating I’d ever experienced or heard about in my life. It was about a month before Valentine’s Day and we were making love. I remember the weather was dry and humid with not a drop of moisture. It was storming but there was no rain. All you heard was thunder and lightning was striking everywhere which caused a lot of fire due to the dryness in the air. In the middle of us making love Henry told me that he had to break up with me because I was too young and he didn’t feel right about carrying on our relationship. He told me he felt like he was holding me back from being free and he would let me live with him as long as I needed to. I was heartbroken for about a month. I was terrified because not only was my relationship over, he could have asked me to leave and I didn’t have any place to go. My brother Rick was living with a friend, Jake was living with his lover and a bunch of other people, Pete moved back to Aiken, and Dennis was sharing a house with about 4 other people. So I stayed and tried my best to change his mind. I worked at trying to get him to be attracted to me again. No matter what I did nothing helped. Eventually it changed from working it out, to me being a straight up asshole. I would go out every night, I would some home very late, I wouldn’t give him money to help pay the bills, and eventually I started meeting other guys. This one guy I met at this club called “The Other Side” was named Wayne. He was about 7ft tall and sexy from head to toe. The night I met him he took me home. I’d explained to him that I was living with my uncle and I couldn’t have company. Wayne said he wanted to take me home with him but I didn’t really want to leave. Strangely enough I felt bad that I was with another man while still living with the man I was still wanting back. I was about to get out of the car and then something snapped in me. I got back in the car and started kissing Wayne. He was extremely turned on by my forcefulness. We had sex right there in front of the house. The final straw came when I was about to go to work one Thursday night. By this time Henry was fed up with my new attitude and my “I don’t care!” personality. That entire day we argued back and forth. I initiated most of it because I was very bitter. I have a very strong ability to make profanity into a weapon and if you aren’t able to fight back it can damage the ego pretty bad. After cursing him to the fullest I headed towards the door to go to work. When I opened the door Henry placed a replacement lock set on the table and told me that when I got off the locks would be changed. With the same amount of anger I turned around and picked up the house phone. I first called my brother Jake and then I called the police. My brother Jake called back and asked me to put Henry on the phone. It was a true screaming match and all I knew was that Jake would be on his way over before I could leave the house. I could tell that scared Henry because he went outside and start pacing. He got in his car and drove off. I thought he would leave and allow me a chance to go to work but he returned shortly afterwards with a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of gin. Since my time with Henry I never saw him smoke but I believe that I was able to get him to his breaking point. The police showed up and told Henry that if he changed the locks on me while I was at work they would come back and arrest him. Henry played as if he was just joking and that he would never do anything to hurt me. One of the officers looked at me and told me to call him if he does try to evict me with giving me 30 days to move out. I smiled and told the officer that I would do just that. After the police left another car pulled up and behind it all you saw was dirt flying so I knew that had to be Jake. Jake jumped out the car and before he made it to the door I rushed out and told him that everything was fine. He hugged me and told me to call him if I needed him. I gave Jake $20 so he could get him some weed to relax and he left. As I started leaving to go to work Henry asked me if he could drive me to work. I said fine and got in the car. The entire ride we didn’t speak and when I got out he said have a good night at work. I got out of the car and slammed the door. The shift flew by and before I knew it 7AM struck on the clock and I was headed home. When I got there I showered and jumped into bed. Shortly after dozing off the phone began to ring, I answered and it was Henry on the other end. He apologized about last night and wanted me to forgive him. I said I did, hung up the phone and went to sleep. Later that evening Dennis called and told me he had another job. He was a leasing agent at an apartment complex close to the train station. He asked if I wanted to move in with him and help out with the bills. I instantly said yes. Dennis said that the apartment would be ready by that following Tuesday. So from Wednesday to that Tuesday I secretly packed up my stuff. During that past weekend I’d met a cop by the name of Stewart and we started dating. The night I decided to move out I called Stewart to pick me up from work. When I got to the house I packed up my stuff, wrote Henry a long good-bye letter and did my “Tina Turner Move” That was the end of what I thought would have been a beautiful romance. My life always has a way of showing me that things can change if you only allow yourself to receive the offer.