How I Became Me Chapter 5

Packing up my bags to move to Atlanta with my 3 brothers was like rewinding a video to get to the part where the main character in the movie had that pivotal moment of clarity. This was an action that I performed in my mind several times. The thought of leaving here, the thought of finally saying good-bye to my life in Aiken, the chance to become a different me in a different place in the world was unlike anything that could be summed up into words. The idea of saying good-bye to my family was difficult but I knew in my heart that the longer I stayed the more I would fall back into that hole I was finally starting to climb out of. I knew that there was more for me and that I needed to let go of this life and start the life I was meant to have. Being trapped was the best way I could explain the feeling of growing old in a place that held so many memories and watching things slowly move by as I reached adulthood. I knew that the transition was necessary for me to find my happy and for me to become stronger. Zipping up the last suite case I stood in my room, which I finally got back before I moved away, I could feel the energy I was leaving behind. I knew that leaving the way I was feeling was best because it wasn’t negative, it wasn’t desperation, it was merely transition and I knew for sure that I was ready for it. I knew that this was my time to fly and show my mother that all she taught me would protect me in such a change in environment. The drive to Atlanta was exciting and I felt so at ease. I didn’t look back, I didn’t have second thoughts, and I didn’t fear the unknown. It wasn’t just because I was moving with my brothers, it was because I could finally explore who I really was and I could change everything that I wanted to change while living in Aiken. I heard so much about Atlanta and everything my brothers visited they would tell us about how life was there. I could vividly picture the tall buildings, the clubs, the parks, the different cultures and the opportunities for me to get into my passion which was writing, dancing, and singing. I just knew that this was the place for me. With my cousin behind the wheel and me sitting in the back with one of my brothers I began nodding off. Feeling the distance between me and Aiken South Carolina getting further and further away in the distance. I-20 seemed like this dark tunnel to another world for me. With my vision blurry from sleep and my mind racing from excitement and fell into a deep sleep. Shortly after falling asleep I was awaken by my brother telling me that we were pulled over. I opened my eyes and was immediately blinded by the lights on the top of the police car. While I was sleeping my older brother that sat in the front seat next to my cousin began taunting him. My brother is known for having a led foot. After the constant criticism my cousin became frustrated and pulled over to give the wheel to my older brother. Not more than 10 minutes after my brother got behind the wheel he began speeding like a bat out of hell. The speed limit back then was 55 MPH and my brother was going 101 MPH. The officer asked if any of us had a license to drive the car because my brother was being taken in for speeding. Ironically my cousin was the only one with a license so he drove us the rest of the way to Atlanta. When we got to Atlanta we had to go to my oldest brother in Atlanta. He at one point lived with my other 3 brothers but fell in love with his partner and moved in with him. It was so exciting to see him but we were really under the best circumstances. By my older brother’s reaction to my brother being locked up I could tell that I moved into a very tense and difficult situation. My brother told us to assure that once this money is given he won’t be asked for any more money. Apparently my brother moved out against the wished of the other 3. My brother being the oldest was use to handling things differently than the brother under him. The brother under him was very wild, youthful, at times very unpredictable, and not to mention short tempered. From this point on the oldest brother will be named Rick, the next to the oldest will be named Jake, the brother under him will be named Pete, and the brother under him and over me will be named Dennis. I come from a very large family and to keep discussing the story of my life with placing names would cause more confusion to the reader just as it causes confusion for me to remember everyone’s names when they are all together. After getting the money from Rick my brother Pete and my cousin Deon dropped me off at the apartment. Walking through the door I saw my brother Dennis laying down watching television. It had been a long time since we’d seen one another. Dennis and I had a lot in common growing up. He was an artist, he loved to sing, and he had the sense of humor like a comedian. The only drawback to his personality is that he can be extremely moody. I can remember walking in the apartment so excited to see him and his response was very lukewarm and mediocre at best. At the time it didn’t really register due to the excitement of Jake being arrested, the frustration of Rick having to pay out more money even though he had moved out and started his new life, or the simple fact that my very first night in Atlanta was ruined because my brother wanted to get behind the wheel. I shook the awkward moment off and just went into the bedroom I would share with my brother Jake and went to sleep. The next morning I awoke to see a sleeping Jake right beside me. That nightmare was over and now the realization of living in Atlanta could begin. I knew that my brother would want to show me around and give me the lay of the land. I jumped up and ran to take a shower, got dressed and sat in the living room waiting to start my sightseeing adventure. After about 30 minutes of sitting in the living room my brother Pete came out of his room dressed in his Apple Bee’s uniform saying he was on his way to work. Just as he was about to leave there was a knock on the door. When Pete opened the door this beautiful fair skinned and freckled face girl walked in and gave him a big hug and kiss. To my surprise it was my brother’s girlfriend. After speaking to one another Amanda and I instantly became the best of friends. Walking out the door Pete turned around and asked did I want to come to work with him and Amanda, seeing as Jake was going to sleep in after his long night and Dennis didn’t appear to be interested in getting up to hang with me I decided that I would start my first day in Atlanta with my brother and his girlfriend. The walk wasn’t long but I already fell in love with the environment. The cars shining and the music pumping out of their tricked out speakers, the bus stops, the people walking up the sidewalk, people running across the street, right up the street from our apartment complex there were two colleges and I could see the students going to class, I saw professors out in the lunch area smoking cigarettes and most likely chatting about the latest drama with a student or a faculty member. I couldn’t describe the feeling I began to feel at that very moment. All I knew was I felt alive and that this was where I was meant to be. I knew that my life started here and I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss a thing. The walk showed me another world entirely. People were nice as they are in Aiken, people were very beautiful, and the sky seemed to be clearer than I’ve ever noticed it before. It felt right and I felt that I was in the center of a paradise of unfamiliar surroundings and new people to get to know. Once we made it to Apple Bee’s my brother introduced me to everyone that worked there. Instantly I could tell he was well respected and really liked by the staff and the management. Amanda sat me at the table reserved for the waiters and waitresses. While sitting there everyone that worked with my brother would come over and check to see if I was hungry, if I needed to something to drink, or just to ask me about myself and how Pete was when he was younger. I instantly felt a part of this crew and wanted to have this experience every day. I asked Amanda could I speak with the manager. Amanda called over Brad, a very handsome and fair skinned man that was obviously the restaurant flirt. He came over and instantly recognized that Pete and I were brothers. I asked if there were any positions open and if there were I would like to apply. By the time Pete and Amanda were clocking out I had a job and I started that very next day. That was the beginning of my life at what we all called “Club Apple Bee’s”