I had a very interesting conversation with family and family friends. The topic was about being in a relationship and having outside people contacting your significant other. One part of the conversation was telling the person that you don't appreciate them calling your man or woman's phone. Threating the person to get the point across that you are their mate and that they cannot have them.
The other part of the conversation was that the mate should be the one getting the blunt of the angry tyrate. Letting the person that you've chosen to be in a relationship know that you aren't going to stand for the bull of them flirting and exchanging phone numbers and flirty playful remarks back and forth.
I had an in between view on the situation. Having experienced that sort of disrespect in my own relationship, you tend to attack it depending on how it came about and what part your partner had in it getting out of hand.
When you start a relationship you put on the table who you are, what you are about, what you won't deal with, and what you have previously dealt with. If after getting the 411 from you they still do something disrespectful then that is your choice to handle it the best way you know how.
The only thing that I would advise is after dealing with the other person, your partner or both, it still doesn't seem to get the point across, show their ass the door. I am a firm believer in second chances but I am also a believer in not being a fool.
When issues arise in a relationship and the common factor of the issue is the other person then you need to rethink your relationship, how you are handling the relationship, and the person you are in a relationship with. At times people don't take what you tell them as gospel because after you get on them you revert back to that happy relationship as if nothing ever happens. They then turn right around and do it yet again, you get angry, then forget it happened and start living that happy life that you are so desperately trying to maintain.
I feel strongly that you don't beat them up about it constantly if you have forgiving them, but you don't forget what happened. There should be a form of punishment for adults doing things that are seen as disrespectful to you and the relationship. As children we are taught those valuable rules of life and when we disrespect our parents we also disrespect the family. So when we become adults and we still don't get the point we should experience similar punishments.
I talk the situation out, let you know where I stand and what I will not stand for. If you choose to disrespect our relationship after the sit down and hash out, I then allow you a vision of what life will be without that sense of respect and trust. The person doing wrong most of the time will keep doing wrong because they are in a relationship with a loving and devoted partner so they keep burning that connection until that loving and devoted person turns into a bitter and angry partner.
When that happens the relationship because full of venom and the matters between the two become so hard to maintain that other negative energies are introduced to the relationship. You feel that you are stuck, you feel that you need them to learn, you feel that you made a promise and that you will stick to it, but the main thing that we forget is that we aren't the ones that did wrong yet we turn out to be the ones under the punishment rule.
We are being hurt, lied to, disrespected, and ignored. We give the partner that continues to screw up all of the power and we lose who we are. We lose that love and that light we have inside of us. I have been through, I have seen it, and I've heard it way too often.
Love is a very fragile thing, but trust is just as or more fragile. When trust is gone you have nothing left. You lose that love you had for that other person and they seem like weights around your ankles. No matter what you do that smile that was so effortless before becomes more and more of a task. When you realize that you aren't happy anymore it is time to take full inventory of your relationship.
Grab back your power and let go of what doesn't serve you any form of happiness. In the end of the life cycle you don't have that chance to experience a "Do Over" because we only live one life, but at times we have the opportunity to reinvent who we are and how we live. When giving that rare opportunity take it and run with it!
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