Bitter Sweet

Have you ever ended a relationship and was left wondering what kept you there in the first place and then feeling conflicted of why you left at all?
Some relationships are cut and dry, you meet, fall in love, build a life together, then feel that you have grown apart, then you say your good-byes, but remain friends
Then there are those relationships where you aren't looking but you stumble upon the love of your life, every component fits into place and you have a beautiful relationship that is both healthy and real, it becomes the blue print of relationships for all those around you
Then there are those relationships where you meet, you play around for a long period of time, after fooling around for so long you decide to give a relationship a shot, find out you have nothing in common but the fooling around part, then you break up and continue fooling around
Then there are those relationships where everyone is telling you how you two should date since you are the best of friends, you have so much in common, you just look so great together, then you fall into what everyone has told you and pursue a relationship, once in it you argue all of the time and those qualities that seemed so attractive as friends kill your relationship as lovers so you break up and lose a good friend
Then we come to the most stressful relationship, which is the relationship where you fall in love with someone based on the qualities you see in them and ignore the signs that are being shown to you, you know in your heart that they are great people, they have a strong loving quality that makes you feel so wonderful around them, yet you keep getting the negativity, the self doubt, self pity, the untrusting behavior, and the vile emotional turmoil, you either leave them or they leave but you are left with closure issues, you didn't get a chance to figure out where you went wrong, you are left with thoughts that maybe there was a possibility for you two to fix what was wrong, then you question if you expected too much from them when they were showing you exactly what they were about yet you still envisioned this better person just underneath the surface
Moments like that when you sit and think about them you are left with bitter sweet memories, the ones that make you smile, the ones that make you cry, the ones that make you hate them, the ones that make you love them all over again, the fear that they have someone new and the door is closed to you for good, and the feeling of if they even really loved you at all
The morale to this is if someone is showing you there true colors, try taking a mental paint brush, paint a picture with all that they've shown you, if the painting isn't something you would hang on your wall in your house, if the painting isn't something you would want associated with your name, if the painting doesn't match any other decoration in your life then chances are it's not the right painting for you, so toss it out and keep it moving