Let It Go

Relationships aren’t meant to be difficult, hard, worrisome, or painful
If you are with the one you are meant to be with, then the love will help build a partnership that can withstand the test of time
It’s a choice to pursue a relationship but once the heart has attached it’s self, your choice isn’t all your own
When that person is the right one you will notice how your mind expands, your imagination runs faster, your view of the future is wider, and you no longer feel alone
If you are with someone and these things don’t apply then maybe they aren’t the one
If you feel alone more with them than you do on your own, then let it go
If their words don’t comfort you, make you strong, protect you from the negativity from the world then let it go
If they can’t admire the greatness in you but can call out the flaws then let it go
If they can’t give you a complete answer to the question, “Do you really love me?” then let it go
If they constantly tell you what you don’t do, but never give you praise for what you do… let it go
It can be easy for outside influences to give you advice, but the real test is when your heart is screaming to you that it’s not being nourished, it’s not being given the necessary attention it requires to grow
There is only so much you can do in a bad situation
You can choose to stay, think of creative ways to make it work, the ending result won’t change but the pain you feel will be greater
The more you stick with it the harder it will be to walk away
It’s best to experience a broken heart early on than to live a broken life for eternity

Dear Friends

Before meeting most of you my life was in shambles and I played “catch up” on a regular basis, I never truly understood my purpose and I felt at times I was all alone in a world full of people that had it all together
Even as I got older I always felt out of place, I felt that I was disconnected for quite some time and a moment to establish myself was far and away
As time went on I started meeting people that made me see otherwise, I started connecting with people that had so many great things going on in their lives and yet they still took out the time to get to know me
I met people that admired my way of thinking; that congratulated me for every accomplishment, supported me on my journey of self discovery
As time went on my friends grew to become more than just friends, you all have become family, people that have opinions that I live to hear, I feel more connected to my life and I feel more strength within my joints
My life has been a path of many different directions but the main direction I’ve traveled was knowing who I loved and who I was as a person
My confidence at times would come off as arrogance, but if you looked closer you would see someone that was merely trying to protect their heart from being crushed, and many times that wall was not strong enough to defend me from those moments
I became jaded, torn, broken, unsure, desperate, lost, and hopeless
All of a sudden there was this moment where everything made sense, the people around me fueled my spirit to a level that cannot be explained and could not be achieved on my own
I feel like I belong, I have claimed my spot and I know that it belongs to me because the people that are around me allow me to shine knowing that the light is something shared, not something owned
Creating family from friendships is a very rewarding blessing and it’s the sort of feeling that cures all ailments, it creates a strength that you never knew you had and it makes you dance even when the world is falling apart around you
The music that soothes my ears is the sounds of laughter from those I have grown to know and love; it is your friendship that has made me more aware of my purpose in life and where I am meant to be
I’ve learned that family isn’t just people with the same last name, it isn’t the people that share the same bloodline, it is the people that choose to love you, accept you, and support you, it’s those people that share their lives with you, want your opinion, and are willing to give you theirs
Family isn’t always made up of the same race, color, or creed…Friends are the roots to your life, the reason why it is hard to see them at times is because roots grow behind the scenes but are your support in trying times
I love you all and there was no need to put names because if you are reading this; that should answer your question as to whom this is designed for!
Gregory James Upson-Watkins

Searching To Become Whole

Thinking about the reasons why people cheat and it came to me once I realized how much comes with the idea of doing so
In no way do I condone someone hurting another in the ways of fulfilling a sexual need that could be discussed and worked out with the person you are in a relationship with
There are several ways to cheat however, these are only a few
You can cheat by talking to someone other than your mate, the person you reach out to gets all of your inner most feelings while the person you are in a relationship with gets your distance and negative emotions
You can cheat by spending time with another other than the one you are in a relationship with, this person you reach out to takes you places that the person you are with doesn’t
You can cheat by thinking about this person to the point that you envision them while having intimate moments with the one you are in a relationship with
You can cheat by giving and accepting gifts from someone other than the person you are with, these gifts could hold very important feelings and could symbolize a connection that is not respectful to the one you have with the one you are with
In saying all of that, you know that you are with someone that doesn’t fulfill your every need, the person that you love isn’t showing you the attention, won’t talk to you the way you need to be talked to, they don’t buy you the things you really love and need, they don’t spend the quality time you desire and long for
When talking to a few people I got a lot of the same responses and my question to them was a simple one: “If this person doesn’t fill these voids then why are you with them?” The responses were pretty much the same, “I love them”
That brought me to another light, if you love someone that doesn’t do the things needed to make you happy then maybe the problem isn’t you loving them, the problem is you learning to love yourself
People get placed in our lives for a reason, and if that person in your life leaves you wondering why, then maybe you have learned all you needed from that experience and you need to let it go
It isn’t love if you aren’t feeling loved, it isn’t a relationship if you aren’t living to your full potential, and it isn’t a great connection if you are seeking fulfillment elsewhere
The issues that we face are mainly the issues that we allow to grow and blossom in our lives, we use the word “Love” like it solves so many problems, you need to understand that love is just the connection that brings people together, but a true connection is when all voids are filled and the wondering is no more
When you meet your soul mate things become clearer and you see what was missing from your life before you met them and it all gives you such clarity, you then are able to teach what you know because you are in the place you were meant to be
By all means never give up on love, but please learn from each experience and use those experiences as guidelines not to repeat the same cycle over and over again in your life

Reinventing The Relationship (Marriage)

Though being married to someone can be an amazing feeling it also requires that some work is done to keep it going and to keep it real in the hearts of the two involved
You realize that this person was meant to be in your life, you see that your similarities make you such a unique pair
The thought of finding someone loving, caring, respectful, lovable, trustworthy, reliable, compassionate, and just overall genuine in a world filled with so many dark souls on the prowl for their next victim makes you a bit apprehensive and weary of the idea of opening up to someone and giving them your all
The moment you conquer your fears you dive right into the relationship head first with both of your eyes open
You may not see certain things in the very beginning but in time the truth starts to pierce the imagination
In most relationships people never truly choose to see the other person for what they are, it can be difficult to let go of a dream that never was and most likely will never be
Walking through your relationship with blinders, trying to piece together a story that fits your dream mate, the person you are meant to be with couldn’t be just a regular person with regular ideals and habits, that is the biggest misconception
Then there are those moments when you view other couples and you see how well they work together and you start to try to incorporate those habits into your own relationship which causes you to drop the ball on the idea of loving someone for them and not trying to make them into someone they are not
Take a step back and realize that this relationship is yours; you both have stock in the growth of this relationship
Once you make that next step into marriage it is the same thing but most people feel that wearing a ring on their finger to symbolize their love makes the relationship harder to be a part of so they start stressing and pushing way too hard to make the marriage look as great as the beginning
None of that is necessary, what is necessary is that you always think of ways to keep your interests
Don’t focus on what others may think and don’t try to evaluate your relationship through the actions of other relationships, your marriage is a prized life accomplishment
It means you have survived those many obstacles that people face in the pursuit of being loved and loving someone
So when it comes to you and that special someone, reinvent things, work at trying to keep it new and different, when you two have learned how to do that collectively the marriage doesn’t seem like a promotion with more responsibility and stress, it merely is love amplified

Safety First

In the beginning of any relationship you want to take precautions in your approach, you want to make sure that you discuss everything necessary to ensure that you are compatible
Even though you may take a commendable effort to do these things there is typically a lot that we over look because we are so caught up in looking at the things that happened to us in our previous relationships, so the things that are really important in dealing with our personality in the present get overlooked
Approach that person with an open mind and an open heart, clear your vision when the conversation starts and try not to look at them with visions from the past, you tend to give that person that is your experience (Ex lover) more power over your future
People only get away with what we allow them to get away with, once someone has taken advantage of us we build up a wall that is unnecessary in our future relationship because we are suppose to start from scratch
It’s not to say that our past isn’t a great guideline to revisit every now and again to take self inventory on where we are now and if we have truly learned from that past
When the new person is in your life then you are telling that person you are ready to love again, that you are over your pains, sorrows, and mistakes
To come into the relationship ready to fight and in a constant defense mode makes it very difficult for that new person to see you as a person of love, so those people tend to treat you like a project of rehabilitation and not love
When you turn your potential lover into your “Mr. or Mrs. Fix Me Up” you tend to lose their respect eventually, it can be that they are tired of hearing your sob story, it could be that they get tired of waiting to seeing a change in you, it could be that they feel they are being used, or it could be that they no longer want to try to love the unlovable
You yourself are responsible for getting your act together before joining a life with a new person, so before saying yes or pursuing a would be lover, stop for a moment and make sure that you have taken the necessary steps to ensure that you are ready to love and ready to be loved

May 30 Weekly Quote

Wishing harm to others can have the opposite effect on you
Just because you know someone that may seem horrible and unworthy of the blessings that they have doesn’t make it all right for you to wish them negativity
Most people ask that question, “Why are they getting everything and they don’t deserve it and I’m working so hard and doing my best to be a better person and I still can’t get the things I’m striving for!”
The first mistake is to compare your life to theirs
The second mistake is to assume that just because these people appear to be blessed means they are happy
Those of us that take what comes but believe that eventually it will get better are the people that appreciate life so much more
Those of us that get things without working for them never understand the value in the struggle
In the end you are the victor in your own life and your life should be the only one that matters

May 23 Weekly Quote

Having an endless appetite for knowledge can be a bad thing
It’s never a good thing to be known as someone that knows so much but does so little and lacks common sense
You may have heard the statement, “I’d rather be street smart than book smart”
In some aspects of life that is a good way to view the world
Not everything that can help you through life will be found in a book
At the same time the things you need to know about the changing of the world isn’t always with the knowledge you find with your interactions with the streets
Learn how to balance both sources of knowledge
That will make you a more formidable force in your everyday life