Dear Love,
I am actually sitting here laughing to myself about you. The moment I met you I knew that there was something in my life that was missing. Each and every day I grow closer and closer to letting go of that pain from my past. Each day I understand more and more that people are placed in your life for a reason and you are definitely not a season for me. I feel that you are my lifetime.
Being open and honest has always been my personality and being with you, it only makes me understand how important it is for me to stay who I am. Before you, I did for others and neglected myself. I have loss and that loss destroyed the joy in my heart. I never thought that I could laugh, smile, be excited or look forward to tomorrow. I have and will again admit that I burdened you to make right what was wrong in my life. The fears of losing people makes me pressure you to do more, say more, be more than you actually should need to. For that I apologize but as with everything else, I know that I need these experiences to grow through it.
The thought of not seeing you in the morning, talking to you through the day, cuddling with you at night and trying not to choke you while you snore in my ear terrifies me. That fear I have is draining and it can blind me from my blessings. What I am realizing now is that you were created for me, to be in my life, to be by my side, to help me become who I am meant to be.
Your past was paved with living for other people, doing what was expected of you, sacrificing what you wanted and what your heart needed. The thing about your past though, you don’t regret it because it has gifted you with 4 joys that you could not live without. Living that life made you who you are now and I see so much more of you as time goes on. Of course there are still things that need changing but in all honesty I don’t doubt that you will find that change.
I go through my day thinking of how I can thank you for giving me a life where I am no longer chained to my pain, even when we have our moments of disagreement, you show me time and time again that you learn from each of those moments. I now understand where the line is when expressing myself, when the right time is to say the right thing.
We both are still growing but together we grow stronger and I know that the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t just for me, it shines for us both. A partnership is as important as family. A lover is needed to heal your soul. A validator is needed to strengthen you. Strong arms are important to give you security. A warm shoulder is necessary when it’s time to just cry. You give me all of these things and more. So as simple as I can say it, thank you.
-Love, Gregory J. Upson-Watkins
No comments:
Post a Comment