To Be Or Not To Be...

We’ve tried this before but it didn’t bear fruit
So we walked away from the wreckage
Time has gone by and we seem to continue to cross paths
Is it a sign?
Are we meant to reconnect?
Is it pure coincidence?
I don’t know but fait has a way of intervening and making us see what is meant to be seen
I can’t deny that there are still feelings in me for you
I can’t deny that I think of you or shall I say that you stay on my mind
Is there another reason you were brought into my life that I’ve yet to discover?
Where do we go from here?
How do we make this work this time around?
Should we just take the hint and realize that each time we try it never works?
You could spend a lifetime asking question after question without getting an answer
Life is short and time is fleeting
I can’t and don’t regret us meeting
I just hope that if we connect yet again
This time I would love for it to work out and not end as soon as it begins

All I Do In The End

After the love is gone and you find yourself standing there alone you start to reinvent yourself
You want to review every thing that you said, everything that you did
The reason for this is that you don't want to repeat the same thing for the next relationship
Now the art of self evaluation isn't to start downing or doubting you
You take this time to look at yourself much more closely
View who you are with both eyes open
Rethink the things that you said and the ways that you acted
Realize that we are only as good as our next chance to shine
The wrong thing to do is try to be better for someone else
The point of this is to be better than you are now so that you truly grow
You cannot make someone else happy if you are still trying to find a way to make you happy
Being alone doesn't mean that you are lonely
It just means you have time to work on you
So take full advantage of that time
Get to know the new you from the experience
Get comfortable with being by yourself again
Learn to love your own company
Avoid distractions from the moments when you are feeling down about not having someone there with you
Draw strength from within and not from the presence of others
I don't speak this just to throw out tidbits here and there
I'm not speaking on things that I don't know
I speak from my personal experience
As someone that loves love and can never give up on my search
Rebuilding, reevaluating, rethinking, reprocessing...are just a few things but they are all I do in the end

Eyes On The Prize

You’re right about me when you say that I am hard to please. I can make a situation more than what it is. I can flip a conversation to make it more than you speaking, but listening to yourself. I am guarded at times and I often sit back and observe you in action. I know that sometimes you feel uncomfortable but it’s just what I do to see if you can keep up with yourself.

So often people talk too much and aren’t aware of what they’ve put out into the universe. I am one of those people that remember it well and then quiz you on it later. It’s not for fun, it’s for a reason. I believe that a man should be about his word at all times. So forgive me if I hold you to your own words.

I don’t offer all of me so easily because I am aware that there are people that feast on the pain that they cause others. Broken people can seek out good people. It can be like revenge for their past hurts. It’s sad but true that we can’t always trust what is said and even at times we can’t trust what is done. Does that make me damaged? I don’t think so.

I believe that I have earned so much experience that I am ready to meet that man that is ready for the challenge and can offer me the same in return. If I am too intense, then maybe you just aren’t serious enough. If I don’t laugh at every single joke, then maybe you just aren’t that funny. If I get on you about almost every single thing you do, then maybe I’m watching you that closely.

Come one people…we forget that the heart is the most precious thing you can give away. Knowing that, why would I just hand it to you freely? We take the time to do homework before we purchase a car. We research everything we can before we start a new prescription. We search and research everything we can find before we decide on that vacation. So why wouldn’t I put that much work into getting to know you better and proving whether or not you are worthy of my heart?

I Cry Some Times

I know it well, that dark and dank space in your heart where nothing seems to live
I am aware of the feeling that comes over you when you see the happiness in others
I recognize the sounds of laughter but I never hear my own
I walk in familiar spaces out of fear that I’ll walk some place new all alone
I stick to a routine out of the fear that I will realize how lonely I really am
It scares me with how sad I can get though I have so much to live for
It makes me shiver at the thought that I can become a victim to my own hell
Luckily I have found peace in the unfamiliar
I have found joy in the laughter of others and I’ve joined in the moment
I now rejoice in the happiness of couples and wish them the very best
I have come to realize that you will always have those low moments
It is perfectly normal to feel sad and yearn for better
To me it is the fuel that keeps my heart pumping and ready
I know that there is more for me and the reason I feel so down is because I realize how much I deserve it
I now give myself that time to feel those lowly moments
I now allow the sadness to run its course
Because once it’s done I know that I will have that happiness again
So it’s ok that I get lonely and it’s ok that I want more
I am strong enough to admit…I cry some times

Waiting On You

It isn't often that I can wait
I'm not known for enjoying several dates
My heart is eager and ready for a hand
A guide, a protector, a gentle and loving man
I dazzle in the dance of love
Those little things that people overlook or rarely speak of
I know for certain that I am not destined to walk alone
There is a space in my life made for you
For that I've been shown
Because the moment I met you things are no longer the same
I've gone from getting comfortable being single yet a pro at peeping game
To thinking of you all the time
It's ridiculous how refreshing it feels to think you'll eventually be mine
The crazy thing is that it didn't take much time
That's how I know that the empty space is for you
The walk of my future is meant for us two
I know it is so and God makes no mistakes
So until you also realize it... I will wait

My Unattainable Heart

I hold it close, I hold it tight
As I sleep it's stored away for the night
I fear exposing it to an uncaring world
I fear allowing pain to it engross it
I dread it being ripped, torn...completely broken
I deny it the chance to be handed to another
I know it is crazy and overbearing
A heart isn't meant to be hidden but built for sharing
Love is a part of the world I try to protect it from
Not just everyone but mainly for some
There is a light struggling to become free
To shine on my life and the many possibilities
The fear still remains, that hasn't changed
Though now there is a presence that is showing that he is worthy to feel that empty spot
That place left voided to grab hold of my unattainable heart

Me...

Tired, exhausted, fatigued, overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated, done...words that I refuse to use ever again. Survivor, fighter, solider, son, brother, uncle, nephew, grandson, friend, lover...titles I wear. Know that there are so many labels and so many titles that you are given... Just understand that there is one label that I've chosen for myself... Greg.