Missing You

Everyday a vision of your smile sits upon my mind

A tear rolls from my eye, an emotion falls out of place

I feel as though I’m running out of all but time

As a feel of despair falls infinite upon my face

You are no longer here this fact remains the same

I want you still this statement is true

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t call your name

Reality always lets me know I’m missing you


Kru-Shal/1998

Mom

You’ve held back long enough
Time for you to spread your wings
Nothing comes free, life can be tough
You earn, materials such as cars and things



Never settle for less, always get the best
Take your time and contemplate
Scope out all the good ones and leave the rest
Be patient, but not lazy, don’t wait too late



The moment you give up, things will fall apart
Don’t be crazy, let nature take it’s course
Always protect your heart



This information I give you should prevent you from going a stray
But always remember, I’ll be here for you until my dying day


Kru-Shal/1998

My Friend

A friend is someone you can talk to
A friend is someone who will always be there
A friend is someone loyal and true
A friend is someone who will love you and care

You are my friend and there’s no doubt
You were my friend from the start
You are a friend I couldn’t live without
You are a friend in which no one could break us apart

A constant thought of me leaving my friends behind
A constant thought that I need to stay
A constant thought that friends like you are hard to find
A constant thought that we’ll be friends no matter if we’re here or away

A friend is a friend though our time has ended before our relationship even really began
A friend is a friend, that may be true, but no friend could love me the way you do


Kru-Shal/1998

I Remember Me

Yeah I remember that look, that sly smile, the roll of the eyes, the piercing stare, that head nod even though you could care less what you are hearing
Yeah I remember that walk, that strong stomp, that brisk speed, that posture and pride
I remember that laugh, loud, infectious, exhausting, and so full of joy
I remember that cry, that pain burning the insides,that hold over allowing it to all come out
I remember those nightmares, the ones where everything ends, you see the world just destroyed while you stand there feeling terrified and helpless
I know that serious look, that concentration on trying to take in everything being said because you know it's true
What about now? Do you recognize this smile, nothing behind it, just a happiness inside
I know that walk, such confidence, such pride and humility
I know that laugh, true, full of joy, and enjoying life and what is unfolding within it
I know that cry, looking at sad movies, listening to a sad story from someone close to you
I remember those dreams, now that makes no sense at all, flying, having super powers, seeing the world fall apart but you seem to find a way to stop it
I know that serious look, though it doesn't last because as soon as you try you start to think of something so funny that was said or done you fall out making that same unforgettable laugh
I remember these things because when I was remembering those past things I so hope that one day I would change them...and I did...so can you
Just because you may feel those things from my past now in your present doesn't mean you can't feel the things I feel now
The thing you should never do if forget you

The Light Is Out

I use to have dreams of a life that was so much better than my reality
I would imagine having the life I chose and not the one that chose me
The older I got the more that dream became something of a crutch and less like a little boy's fantasy
When life starts to show you that the world is full of several things, but dreaming isn't one of them
You start to realize that the life you've built around your imagination hasn't really protected you from what actually goes on around you
I've made sacrifices that I may not have made if that dream was not there in my mind
No matter how dark the path that dream kept me going
I never gave up even when the outlook was bad and almost impossible
Now that I have reached yet another dead end that dream has lost the ability to keep me hoping
Now I see the truth and it isn't the bright light from the dream I've been living for several years
Reality shows you what is and makes no nevermind if you are ready for it or not
You simply have to face it, deal, and keep it moving
Love is just a part of that cycle
You meet someone, you have some things in common, if there is enough, you fall in love
What the world doesn't always offer is a security blanket when that love falls apart
When that person you have grown to know and love becomes someone you no longer recognize you tend to feel that you've been betrayed
It is so easy to become angry and even bitter because of it
The hardest part is to take what you've learned and start to find the light again
No matter how bad things became you can still find something marvelous in the journey
You can look back at that person and even your self to see that though it didn't turn out the way you'd hoped, you still have something to hold on to
Don't look at your relationship as a failure, look at your life together as a learning lesson that you both have grown from
Understand that just because the dream is gone it doesn't mean that you have to stop dreaming
You simply have the choice to grow up, turn off the light, and build your new dream from your experience
Also understand there things never really end, maybe what has ended is the mindset you both had in the beginning and what is starting is the new outlook on your life based on what was and now what you both need to carry on

Seasons Change

We all have our favorite times of the year, there are those times when it’s sunny, beautiful flowers are blooming all around, birds chirping, butterflies are everywhere, there is life that doesn’t exist until this season.
Then there is the time of year when it rains, leaves change colors, the weather is warm, cool, and forever fluctuating but the color schemes make for a wonderful walk through the park.
There is the time of year when it’s so hot that you can never get cool, no matter what you do the heat just breaks through. It’s time to pull out the pool in the backyard, purchase ice pops for the kids, or take a trip to the beach.
When it comes to life, we also experience a change in season. In a beginning of a relationship where everything is new, feels new, is exciting to enter into the unknown, learning new things about that person or yourself.
The next season things are still pretty exciting, what in the beginning was new is now understood, expected, and at times predictable. Ways are forming; habits are becoming more and more intertwined.
The season after that there is this need to add things, take things away, compromise on things, being surprised with changes, expectations increase, disagreements are formed, attitudes are becoming more and more difficult to agree.
Seasons are different; people all have a love for one or more of the season changes, so in relationships and life that still applies, we as people like what we like and for whatever reason. We can do without this, that or the other.
There is so many different sayings, but this is one that I have understood for quite some time, “People come into your life for a season or a lifetime, the part that seems to disrupt that belief is that we take certain things from a seasonal relationship and try to say we can deal with it and try to build a lifetime, the fault lies with people that accept things that deep in their heart they know they cannot.
We accept patterns and beliefs that are expected from others when deep inside they do not sit well with us. The person being them becomes more and more predictable with their habits, likes, dislikes, and beliefs. While that is happening the one that constantly makes compromises will become less and less connected to their partner.
You will lose your shine if you live away from what makes you who you are. Your partner lives their way and only understands what makes them happy while you compromise, lie to them and yourself. So when you hear people say we just grew apart pay attention to whom actually makes that evaluation. Is it the person that stayed true to who they are? Or was it the one that constantly gave up what they wanted to act like they were happy with the changes that came?

Let It Go

Relationships aren’t meant to be difficult, hard, worrisome, or painful
If you are with the one you are meant to be with, then the love will help build a partnership that can withstand the test of time
It’s a choice to pursue a relationship but once the heart has attached it’s self, your choice isn’t all your own
When that person is the right one you will notice how your mind expands, your imagination runs faster, your view of the future is wider, and you no longer feel alone
If you are with someone and these things don’t apply then maybe they aren’t the one
If you feel alone more with them than you do on your own, then let it go
If their words don’t comfort you, make you strong, protect you from the negativity from the world then let it go
If they can’t admire the greatness in you but can call out the flaws then let it go
If they can’t give you a complete answer to the question, “Do you really love me?” then let it go
If they constantly tell you what you don’t do, but never give you praise for what you do… let it go
It can be easy for outside influences to give you advice, but the real test is when your heart is screaming to you that it’s not being nourished, it’s not being given the necessary attention it requires to grow
There is only so much you can do in a bad situation
You can choose to stay, think of creative ways to make it work, the ending result won’t change but the pain you feel will be greater
The more you stick with it the harder it will be to walk away
It’s best to experience a broken heart early on than to live a broken life for eternity