Starting Over and Beginning Fresh

When we met it was a whirlwind of emotions
Things seemed to happen so fast yet so natural
As the days went on we started to grow stronger together
All of a sudden the winds shifted and we started experiencing problems that changed us
We faced the hardest incident that we could have imagined
There was then space and time that separated us
I tried to move on and live a life without you
You attempted to do the same
When things seemed difficult for me I decided that relocating to a different state would give me the break I needed
The crazy thing is once I did, my heart started to tug and pull back to you
I started seeing you in a light I'd never seen before
Our communication changed
The way we felt about one another changed
The idea about the future now was in a different view
I saw what I'd always known was inside of you
I felt the love that I once had before but it felt brand new and refreshed at the same time
I no longer dwelled on the past
The old emotions were gone
I only see happiness and possibilities
This is our new beginning
This is our new start
This is like brand new love
This is a recharge to my heart
I want you in the way I've never wanted anyone before
With each new day with you I only crave that much more
We fought hard against the world and then against each other
Now we can't stand being away from one another
With all that've faced I believe that we have passed the test
I am so excited with us starting over and beginning fresh

What Lies Beneath

Not everything is as it seems
You often must wipe away the dust to see the beauty underneath
We can sometimes take things at face value which leads us to miss out on something great
When you find what you consider “damaged” it doesn’t mean that it’s beyond repair
We must understand that not all great things start out as great things
We all could use some fixing up to get to where we need to be
So why are we so quick to look over, walk pass, or push aside what doesn’t look perfect to us
The percentage of single people grows by the hour
We no longer want to work things out
We no longer want to talk
We no longer want to figure out what we need to do to get the relationship back on track
Instead we see something that looks newer and better
The grass definitely isn’t always greener on the other side
Just because there is beauty on the outside doesn’t mean that the inside matches
So if you see a work in progress, jump on it and believe me when I say that you will be well rewarded when they reach their full potential
A person will love you more if you stood by them before they became successful

Grieving Blues

Such a difficult transition this grief cycle
One minute you’re feeling high and happy
The next moment you are feeling down and depressed
It’s so strange how feeling happy can turn into feeling guilty
The memories of them
The times you shared
The times you laughed
The times you cried
They replay in your mind over and over again
Sometimes you find it hard to go to certain places because thoughts flood your mind
Hearing a particular song can instantly make you cry
You start to ask the big questions
Why did you create us?
Why did you give us the capability to love?
Why connect us to people we bond with and then take them away?
Of course there are no answers and you are left with more questions
So eventually you just start to, as they say, fake it until you make it
You believe that hopefully one day I will be as happy as I pretend to be
No one will see the pain that constantly resides in me
The face you where can be heavy to carry but in the end that’s what you are left with
Holidays are difficult because it’s another reminder of your loss
The cycle is lifelong and you eventually learn to anticipate the moods
But believe me when I say that there is no cure for the grieving blues

To Be Or Not To Be...

We’ve tried this before but it didn’t bear fruit
So we walked away from the wreckage
Time has gone by and we seem to continue to cross paths
Is it a sign?
Are we meant to reconnect?
Is it pure coincidence?
I don’t know but fait has a way of intervening and making us see what is meant to be seen
I can’t deny that there are still feelings in me for you
I can’t deny that I think of you or shall I say that you stay on my mind
Is there another reason you were brought into my life that I’ve yet to discover?
Where do we go from here?
How do we make this work this time around?
Should we just take the hint and realize that each time we try it never works?
You could spend a lifetime asking question after question without getting an answer
Life is short and time is fleeting
I can’t and don’t regret us meeting
I just hope that if we connect yet again
This time I would love for it to work out and not end as soon as it begins

All I Do In The End

After the love is gone and you find yourself standing there alone you start to reinvent yourself
You want to review every thing that you said, everything that you did
The reason for this is that you don't want to repeat the same thing for the next relationship
Now the art of self evaluation isn't to start downing or doubting you
You take this time to look at yourself much more closely
View who you are with both eyes open
Rethink the things that you said and the ways that you acted
Realize that we are only as good as our next chance to shine
The wrong thing to do is try to be better for someone else
The point of this is to be better than you are now so that you truly grow
You cannot make someone else happy if you are still trying to find a way to make you happy
Being alone doesn't mean that you are lonely
It just means you have time to work on you
So take full advantage of that time
Get to know the new you from the experience
Get comfortable with being by yourself again
Learn to love your own company
Avoid distractions from the moments when you are feeling down about not having someone there with you
Draw strength from within and not from the presence of others
I don't speak this just to throw out tidbits here and there
I'm not speaking on things that I don't know
I speak from my personal experience
As someone that loves love and can never give up on my search
Rebuilding, reevaluating, rethinking, reprocessing...are just a few things but they are all I do in the end

Eyes On The Prize

You’re right about me when you say that I am hard to please. I can make a situation more than what it is. I can flip a conversation to make it more than you speaking, but listening to yourself. I am guarded at times and I often sit back and observe you in action. I know that sometimes you feel uncomfortable but it’s just what I do to see if you can keep up with yourself.

So often people talk too much and aren’t aware of what they’ve put out into the universe. I am one of those people that remember it well and then quiz you on it later. It’s not for fun, it’s for a reason. I believe that a man should be about his word at all times. So forgive me if I hold you to your own words.

I don’t offer all of me so easily because I am aware that there are people that feast on the pain that they cause others. Broken people can seek out good people. It can be like revenge for their past hurts. It’s sad but true that we can’t always trust what is said and even at times we can’t trust what is done. Does that make me damaged? I don’t think so.

I believe that I have earned so much experience that I am ready to meet that man that is ready for the challenge and can offer me the same in return. If I am too intense, then maybe you just aren’t serious enough. If I don’t laugh at every single joke, then maybe you just aren’t that funny. If I get on you about almost every single thing you do, then maybe I’m watching you that closely.

Come one people…we forget that the heart is the most precious thing you can give away. Knowing that, why would I just hand it to you freely? We take the time to do homework before we purchase a car. We research everything we can before we start a new prescription. We search and research everything we can find before we decide on that vacation. So why wouldn’t I put that much work into getting to know you better and proving whether or not you are worthy of my heart?

I Cry Some Times

I know it well, that dark and dank space in your heart where nothing seems to live
I am aware of the feeling that comes over you when you see the happiness in others
I recognize the sounds of laughter but I never hear my own
I walk in familiar spaces out of fear that I’ll walk some place new all alone
I stick to a routine out of the fear that I will realize how lonely I really am
It scares me with how sad I can get though I have so much to live for
It makes me shiver at the thought that I can become a victim to my own hell
Luckily I have found peace in the unfamiliar
I have found joy in the laughter of others and I’ve joined in the moment
I now rejoice in the happiness of couples and wish them the very best
I have come to realize that you will always have those low moments
It is perfectly normal to feel sad and yearn for better
To me it is the fuel that keeps my heart pumping and ready
I know that there is more for me and the reason I feel so down is because I realize how much I deserve it
I now give myself that time to feel those lowly moments
I now allow the sadness to run its course
Because once it’s done I know that I will have that happiness again
So it’s ok that I get lonely and it’s ok that I want more
I am strong enough to admit…I cry some times